Last week, I posted a cry for help on my Facebook status. I wrote: “Victoria needs help on defense. Shields Up!”
I was being harassed by demons, and so were some of my teammates and our ministry contact Becky. It’s a time of transition for her, so she is especially vulnerable. Whatever spirits had been lurking around the place must have latched on to me.
Trouble is, it took me several days to identify it as spiritual warfare. And meanwhile, I was unable to successfully manage my emotions. This is a weak spot for me anyway.
Neil T. Anderson, in his brilliant book, Victory over Darkness, outlines three ways that people handle their emotions:
2. indiscriminate expression – outbursts of emotions
3. acknowledgement – through honest prayer
Neil concedes that “we have very little control over our emotions, but we do have control over our thoughts, and our thoughts determine our feelings and responses. That is why it is so important that you fill your mind with the knowledge of God and His Word. You need to see life from God’s perspective and respond accordingly.”
The Bible instructs us to “take every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5) and to think about “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – anything that is excellent or praiseworthy” (Philippians 4:8).
I found myself feeling sad, angry, isolated, regretful, lonely, anxious … all at once. There was a constant whir of lies in my head, and they were bringing me down. I don’t even want to repeat them here, but I will confess that it was an ugly mess – I was an ugly mess. I had a negative attitude, and because I was hurting, I started hurting other people by withdrawing or by taking out my frustration on them.
At one point, though, as I was talking things out with a teammate, I recognized that something had to change, and I had a sudden “revelation.” I decided I would just treat people the way I want to be treated. I would love them even though I really didn’t feel like it.
Duh. Don’t laugh. I was proud of myself for making that declaration. I actually thought, in that moment, that I had come up with that on my own. (I didn’t. It comes from Matthew 7:12.) But that’s how affected I was. I had been bombarded by so many lies that even though I was trying to fight and get out of the muck, I had completely forgotten basic elements of my faith! I knew what was true, but I was still letting my feelings dominate my interpretation of life.
It is our RESPONSIBILITY to CHOOSE to BELIEVE what is TRUE.
