As I said in my last post (click on “Idolatry 101” above to read it first), it’s been a couple of months that I’ve been plodding through this IDOLATRY issue. Around the season of Lent, many people on our World Race squad felt the call to fast. Some gave up stuff, like computers or coffee, and others tried to surrender aspects of selfishness in their personalities.
I heard the voice of the Lord gently rebuke me:
I heard the voice of the Lord gently rebuke me:
Even ministry can be an idol.
Remember, idolatry refers to anything that we value more than God. And I’ve realized more and more how focused I am on doing things for God instead of seeking God intimately. Both are important, (although, to be more specific, I’ve also lately learned that ministry is not so much doing things for God as it is doing things with God). Ministry is a natural extension of my love for God. And that’s a major part of why I am here: to do mission work. But, I also need to develop spiritual habits that allow me to better understand His heart. I cannot help others without being healthy myself, without being tightly connected to the vine (John 15).
For now, that means that in addition to my regular “quiet times,” I am intentionally setting aside several hours each week to pray, even if it means “missing out” on “official” ministry outings or service projects. I am re-establishing priorities. I am choosing to dwell in the Presence of the Lord.
Of course I can be in His presence any time anywhere, but this is about me choosing HIM above all other things. Above my desire to win a gold star for being an awesome missionary and the expectation or perception of what that means. And above what other people may think of me – I need to care more about God than my reputation of being and doing good.
This is what a healthy missionary lifestyle looks like. This is what a healthy Christian life looks like. In order to be effective out in the field, in order to minister to other people, I have to minister to the Lord and receive more of His power, more of His love, more of His grace, His joy, His peace, etc. Otherwise, I’d be working in my own strengths and trying to take some of His glory.
* * * * *
Note (added in May 2009):
God just reminded me that we had this epiphany several months ago too, like at training camp, when I committed to surrendering the image of the perfect Christian. Before I could feel beat myself about not having mastered it yet, He also reminded me of another post I wrote last summer called Should, still, by now.
Dang, God is good! All the time.
