A few months ago I wrote a blog, “A Three Month Transformation,”
http://victoriapierce.theworldrace.org/?filename=a-three-month-transformation
and I am going to continue from that – I want to show you “ A Five Month Transformation.” The first three months were life changing, bringing restoration, and refining who I am – but it doesn’t stop there.
The past two months in China and Swaziland were life changing as well, and chains that held me down continued to break. Prior to the race, I didn’t think that God was going to do this much, especially in just five months. It makes me anxious, curious, and scared for what the next six months will be.
China
Leaving Vietnam and coming into China, I was still skeptical about trusting in God. I was trying to surrender things in my life, but on my own. A few things I have been surrendering:
- Family
- Cambodia
- My Future, My plan
- My World Race Financial Support
- OneLife Café
- Me, all of me.
China was a new month for us, because there were slight team changes. I lost two people from Team Overcome, and gained two. We were going into that month with a new team, so new beginnings, but also learning to dive in where we left off, even if it’s new with some people.
One of my new teammates was asking me how I was doing and she really wanted to hear the depths of my heart. I began telling her about my last month in Vietnam, that I was trying to surrender things. I was trying to do it on my own, because I still wasn’t sure if I could trust God. She encouraged me to ask God to show me in tangible ways that I could trust Him.
Within a week, I could fully say I trusted Him. My favorite way that He showed me was while I was home from ministry for a week, because I still had lice. Yes. I got lice Month 2 in Cambodia, but I didn’t know until Month 3 in Vietnam– and I still had it in Month 4 – China. While I spent many hours in the day interceding for my team, while they were at ministry, God took me to the very beginning – Genesis 1:1. In the beginning God made promises to many people including, Noah, Abraham, Moses, and Joshua.
I was able to see that He NEVER broke a promise then, so why would He now? My God loves, my God promises, my God never fails.
Even in the chaos, even when people didn’t understand, they would do anything for God – even if that meant sacrificing their own son, or leaving the familiarity of home.
By the end of China, I was able to fully say:
“I trust in My God. Do what You will, You have my best interest. You love me.”
Yes – I have my doubts and fears, but everyday I pray that God continues to show me that I can trust in Him.
Swaziland
It’s hard trying to sum up my month in Swaziland, because it was the hardest yet – for multiple reasons. But I do know, if I would have gone through the things a few months earlier, I’m not sure I would of known how to handle it. I’m thankful it was my month 5.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve been praying – “Break my heart for what breaks Yours.” And God has been answering that this year, but especially in Swaziland.
I became a safe place for people at the ministry, El Shaddai, which made it easier for me to put what I was going through on the back burner, and not deal with it head on. I built relationships with a wide variety, from young kids to teenagers, and I invested my time listening to each one of them. Rather than praying for God to heal things in my heart or show me the answers of what needed done, I was praying for the stories I heard and for the people who became so special to me.
Because of the stories I was hearing, I was feeling helpless; I was feeling hopeless; I was feeling inadequate. I wanted to be the person that sees the end result of joy and hope, rather than the tears. I wanted to see the words that I spoke be put into action, and see that difference. I wanted to be adequate.
The life, love, and encouragement I spoke into people at the ministry, was the same thing I needed to hear. God was using me to speak life to people, but also speaking life to me at the same time. Sometimes, I would even say, “don’t ask me to repeat what I just said, that was all God.”
Instead of feeling helpless, hopeless, and inadequate –I needed to embrace it, because it was a reminder of the God I serve. That even though I can only pray and encourage, that is enough. Our God is the one who gives hope, gives restoration, and gives life.
Because all of this, I felt like I was replaying China in some senses. That I wasn’t sure if I could trust Him, I felt as if I backslid in my trust and faith. But I was reminded, I haven’t. That even when it’s hard, I have been saying YES to my Father. I have been saying YES to what He has asked me to do. I was able to say:
“Yes, You are my King. Comfort me when it is hard to obey, let me know that You are here.”
