The final touches to my tent are in place—ENO twinkle lights. I turn them on and let the blue-green colors dance along the top of my tent. A big sigh releases, “Yes, my new home.” Looking around, my sleeping bag is neatly in place and my packing cubes are arranged in size order. It’s my first night in my tent on the first evening of World Race Training Camp. I am all settled in. “I could get used to this.” photo credit: Abi Thompson
At the end of our first session announcements came, “Please have all your belongings packed up in your pack for exercise tomorrow. You will be hiking as a squad for 30-minutes with everything on your back.” My heart dropped. “Does this woman not know how long it took me to figure out how to properly string those lights?! They’re perfect!”
I did not have a cheerful attitude the next morning as I packed up. My mind was battling itself. I was trying to understand and accept the methods of Training Camp madness, while also thinking of all the reasons this made absolutely no sense for us to do this.
This moment, however, is not where it ended. Throughout our time at Training Camp, we unpacked and packed our belongings roughly 8 times in 10 days. Somewhere around the 5th time packing up my tent God got my attention:
Your idea of settling in, being comfortable, is your form of trying to gain control of your life. This is your way of trying to make sense of the world through your lens, not Mine. My Way requires dependence on Me. I ask that you follow wherever I lead. Trust Me, Victoria.
“Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.” – Matthew 8:20
I am thankful that God can teach us in big ways through small things. Being in a state of constant transition and movement—without knowing what comes next—showed me the importance of relying on God alone for my direction. He showed me the gift of His community, this magnificent group of believers who also will be laying down their comforts and need for control, and how we can be a source of encouragement and understanding for each other throughout the uncertainty God brings.
Living a life unsettled is uncomfortable. An unsettled life asks us to surrender our plans for God’s plans. An unsettled life asks us to humble ourselves and say, “The Lord’s way is better”. An unsettled life has uncertainty, but brings a deep, meaningful peace that comes from resting in God’s faithfulness.
Maybe God has asked you to remain in a place for 20+ years. Maybe He has asked you to leave your family for a foreign mission. I believe that living unsettled doesn’t mean you’re necessarily in a constant state of transition—unless God’s asked that of you—but rather, it means you live with your “hands open”.
It’s a state of willingness to have God give and take away from your life, trusting Him for peace. It’s a way to live so that you do not try to take control or act independently of Him. It’s a state of living in full surrender to the King of Kings, knowing He holds your best interest at heart.
The Holy Spirit does not always ask us to understand; He asks us to obey.
What parts of your life are you gripping too tightly? Are there places (job, location, relationship, etc) where God has asked for change and you desire otherwise? Pray for a heart that desires God’s dreams for your life. Follow Him where He leads, even if you don’t understand.
God is not withholding something good from your life; He desires to give you something better.
“For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless.” – Psalm 84:11
At the end of the day, when I stare up at my blue-green twinkle lights, I am reminded of God’s goodness and faithfulness. Choosing to follow Him where He leads brings unfathomable sense of peace that can only come from the Father.
And as God usually does, He loves to surprise me and occasionally freak me out in the best way. As I wrapped this blog post and added my final edits, I just received word that my upcoming route has CHANGED.
Is God funny, or what?
Please pray for our squad as we undergo our route change from Laos to MALAYSIA! I cannot stop smiling. I am thankful to have been taught to live in the state of surrender through the packing and unpacking of my gear, only to find that much bigger things have (and will continue to) change. God is good and I can’t help but think that Malaysia will have something extra special in store for us.
