Lord. We know that in your word it says you are faithyful (African church go-er’s vocabulary word that means the same thing as the English word, “faithful”). You are powerful like the great surges of electricity that sometimes grace our electrical outlets. We know that you are all-seeing & all-knowing like the governments of the countries we travel to. Therefore, we come before you today to ask that you would hear our prayers. Amen.
*A Prayer For Transportation.*
Be with us as we enter into mini busses & other questionable vehicles/modes of transportation. Be at our side as we bite our tongues when the suggested price for transportation is 5 times more expensive than acceptable due to the color of our skin.
Place your hand upon the wheel in those precarious times when a driver’s lack of sobriety is only discovered after accepting a ride from them. Keep your loving arms of protection around our backpacks & luggage as they sit in the raging hot temperatures of the underside or topside of long-distance busses.
Fill our hearts with peace & love when street vendors challenge our patience by getting in our face, pulling our hair, or reaching through vehicle windows to grab our arms. We pray that when huge boulders have been placed on the local roads in an attempt to section off areas for construction that our bus driver would notice them before it’s too late.
Lord, you are good & mighty and you know the answer to our deepest & most troubling questions like, “how many more hours will this supposed 30 minute trip last?”, “when is it acceptable to notify the local person sitting on top of me that even though they don’t like it, I would indeed like our window to be open because i can’t go without both space and air?”, “will this 12 hour bus ride include a bathroom break…because I don’t see a bathroom on the bus?”, “is it necessary for us to be going the equivalent of 100mph down unpaved country roads/up twisting mountain passes?”, “if I fall asleep on this bus/train/airplane will all of my possessions be stolen from me (including the very clothes I wear)?”, “when they said ‘meals are provided’ did they really count a package of crackers and a juice box as breakfast?”, “that rancid odor that keeps burning my eyes & other vulnerable senses every few minutes will eventually subside….right?”, & many more haunting & typically unanswered questions.
We love you, Lord, & we are blessed just to be in your presence. This is our transportation prayer.
*This is a prayer for the bathroom.*
Lord, we ask that as you are looking down upon us in our time of need that you would not smile because of our failures but rather that you would smile because of our successes. Lord, as we squat down lower than would ever be presumed comfortable in an attempt to use the blessed squatty-potty, we ask that you would strengthen the required muscles in order that they would be able to perform their expected duties with speed, accuracy, & both limited noise & stench.
We pray that even on the days we aren’t able to access a heavenly strong cup of coffee that you would still remain faithful to us & would bless us with regularity. We ask in your name that we would be able to walk NOT run to the bathroom when nature makes its call. We request your provision of enough water to bring about a good toilet flushing. We pray that if soap be not offered that by some miracle someone in our traveling party would have sanitation products.
Lord, almighty Jesus, we pray in your name that when it is required of us to use a “bush bathroom” or any other toilet that has never been graced with a sponge or squeegee or even one droplet of bleach that you would intervene & perform the reverse miracle of depriving us of our senses. For it is true that no soul could ever be prepared for the debauchery that is an unclean bathroom in the deep hallows of foreign country’s countrysides.
Holy Lord, it is of your greatness we humbly request both a separation between men & women’s restrooms & a short walk from the bus to the bathroom in those creepy bus stops at night. In that respect, Jesus, we also ask for protection from that lone shady figure that seems to be at every bus stop. We pray also that if upon arriving at the bathroom payment be required of us that it would already be at hand or at least in our pocket so that we would not have to soil ourselves trying to scrounge up the equivalent of 10 cents…ain’t nobody got time for dat.
Lord, it’s in your name we pray that all things come out that should & even more so that all things stay in that should. May food poisoning be a thing of the past & parasites be a thing only found in blog posts online. We ask these things in your name. This is our bathroom prayer.
*A prayer for patience.*
Lord, holy father almighty Jesus up in heaven, first, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our allotted amount of patience & stay our anger when it boils out of control.
When there are so many flys we are unable to see the food items we wish to purchase from the local market; when for the 70th time in one hour the whiteness (or darkness) of our skin has been made clear to us; when children taunt us to no end in the company of their parents; when locals abruptly switch to their native tongue to discuss our manor of dress, ability or lack thereof to communicate, our scent, our physical features, or the “attitude” we have; when reserved seats are no longer reserved for us; when the price goes from $1 for the local to $10 for the foreigner; and when it is a crime just to be from the United States.
Lord, it is in these times that we ask for an abundant provision of your much needed & oh so holy patience. Even though we are adults, Lord, sometimes calling a market vendor “stupid” & sticking out our tongue at them feels much more appropriate than, “no, that’s not an agreeable price. Thank you.”
When it is hours past feeding time & we still need to bargain &/or trade for our daily bread but none of the food vendors are being reasonable, please, smile upon us Jesus & If it is in your will, we ask that you strengthen our hold on your morals & help us not to resort to the comeback “I know you are but what am I?” At least give us a witty retort, Lord. We are your humble servants. This is our patience prayer.
*A Prayer For Food.*
Holy Father, we understand that you are greater and more necessary than even our allotment of daily bread. Alas we, as weakly humans, still stumble when it comes to meal time. Therefore, when it’s time to eat & our food seems to move more than us, we pray that you remind us of your sanctity. When the level of spice in our noodles is enough to burn down Rome for a second, third, & fourth time, we pray that you would quench our unworthy mouth with the unending waters of your grace.
We ask that when the stench that seeps from the cooking area & pries its way through all of our feeble attempts to stop it that you, almighty father, would be faithful in plugging our noses with your holy & blessed fingers.
When the peppers our ignorant traveling companions purchased for dinner & mixed in with everything turn out to be scorpion peppers & not just “a pretty little red pepper that will most likely be mild,” stay our hand lord & allow us the gift of continued life despite the agony we, later, will indeed be experiencing from both ends of our weak & human bodies.
Lord, when our host family has left what looks like road-kill out for days at a time, untouched by all (except the multitudes of insects & slobbering children), & all without protection from the elements, when we realize only after swallowing our last bite of dinner that the delicious mystery meat was truly that unfortunate slain animal we’d been watching so carefully for days, we pray that you would send your guardian angels to our digestive systems & that they would engage in the holiest of battles- fighting off the powers of darkness- fighting off food poisoning & other traveler’s woeful plights like parasites.
We know that you wish good things for your people, Lord, & based upon that knowledge we pray that you would give us wisdom when street vendors seduce us to their stands & attempt to sell us their “all clean- very yum – good fo’ you – bettah than he’s food” food & that we would be able to withstand these instances of weakness & to resist the dark offers of food that is “cheap cheap” & smells questionable. Lord, be with us in our stomach growling, in our unsettled digestive systems, in food poisoning, & in total health. Give us your protection & provide for us in our desperate hunger or snacking times of need. This is our food prayer.
In your holy name, Allelujah. Amen-y (another African twist on an English word, “amen”).
All joking aside, I’ve learned that when it comes to prayer, nothing is too stupid to ask of our father. He truly cares for us & when we are traveling, it’s more necessary than one would think for us to pray over seemingly the most trivial of things. For example- never in my life did I think that a bowl of rice could present such danger as food poisoning. Never did I think what looked to be a glass of clean water could send me hurling the contents of my stomach into a toilet that doesn’t flush. I never knew the pain of “exploding out of both ends” before South America. I never knew how mean or rude I could react until a fee-collector on my mini bus changed the prices on me in Africa. Never did I think I would want to yell at street children for pestering me. Never did I think people would try to take advantage of missionaries. Never did I think I would be turned away from a place or a neighborhood because my skin is white. Never did I think my double decker bus driver would be drunk as he took us through icy mountain passes in Peru.
My dear fellow travelers, danger is real. Thanks to God though, prayer truly works. As fun as it is to be ridiculous & to poke fun, it’s important to remember that your life can end, it should be treated with care & forethought, & that sending up a quick prayer before eating, sitting down in your seat, or walking out of the house in the morning will never be a bad idea. In the words of a country song, “never let your prayin knees get lazy.”
Update: I only need another $1,919 To become fully funded!!! Please, if you’d like to help me reach my final deadline to become fully funded! I’m so close! I can’t believe it! Thank you everyone who has already given & a thank you to those who will give in the future. If you’d like to donate, you can do so through my blog by clicking the “support me!” link & following the directions. Even $5 helps! Thank you!
