Month one in Ecuador was not at all what I was expecting. I was expecting to live in discomfort, to be changed instantly by The Lord because I gave up my home and my comfort and came on the world race to be a world changer for Jesus. But the truth is It is my last day here in Portoviejo and I leave here the same person I was when I arrived. I spent a good amount of this month complaining about having to do manual labor everyday, having to eat food I dont care for, and missing my home, my boyfriend, and my family. I’ve spent this month feeling like The Lord isn’t guiding me when the reality is I’ve made this month about me and what I want and feel that I should have. I so quickly lost who I was and became consumed with me, me, me It’s funny because I unintentionally assumed that the moment my feet stepped onto Ecuadorian soil I would feel different, be more motivated to seek The Lord, or be more in tune with the Holy Spirit. The truth is the race is what you decide to make of it. So I can make it about me or I can remember why I chose to come on this journey. The central point of Christianity is to abandon ourselves. I am here to abandon myself and take up a whole lot a Jesus! I have decided this: I, Vanessa Martinez, will no longer let my selfish desires get in the way of a transformative opportunity, and I will choose to put Jesus and others first. It will not be easy but I refuse to go through another month unchanged and unsatisfied in The Lord and in the effort I put into the short opportunities I have to build relationships, to be a blessing to my host family, my team and to get the most out of each place I am given an opportunity to go. I am committed to doing so.
