One year ago today, I awoke with a heavy heart. I got up, showered, dressed, and went to work.
One year ago today, I went through the motions at work, constantly checking my phone and Facebook for the news I was dreading, yet I knew was coming.
One year ago today, I tried to delight in the smiles and laughter of the kids at my job, knowing they needed me to be present, yet failing to truly engage with them. Instead, I submerged myself in the stream of memories of his smile and his laughter.
One year ago today, I changed into my swimsuit and got into the pool with the kids, aimlessly floating while supervising their water play, wishing with every fiber of my being that his face was among them instead of in a hospital.
One year ago today, my director walked onto the pool deck, crouched down, and told me the news I had hoped and prayed wouldn't come.
One year ago today, I cried underwater as the grieving process began. I cried in the pool that he loved so much. I cried as I remembered his little voice asking, "Schwim-pool? Schwim-pool?" his way of voicing his desire to go to the swimming pool.
One year ago today, I drove home in a gloriously sunny day, complete with a Carolina blue sky and vibrant sunlight and colors everywhere, the kind of day perfect for playing outside in. The kind of day he absolutely loved.
One year ago today, Jesus called a precious soul to His side.
One year ago today, my little buddy, Christian James Churchill, passed from this world and into complete healing in Heaven. We prayed for healing for him, and God answered that prayer. Christian never received healing on earth, but he is healed and whole now.
One year ago today, God set a fire in my soul to truly live every day to the fullest, to embrace life with the joy of a child, and to love people for who they are and where they're at. The tattoo on my wrist and the memories of a beautiful, vibrant little boy who loved to laugh remind me every day to follow Christian's example. You will forever be in my heart, Christian. I love you.
