Forewarning: This blog post is a little bit of a ramble!
During a conversation with a squadmate today, we began discussing the fact that there aren't a lot of blogs about the time in between Training Camp and Launch. Most Racers blog stalk pretty heavily during the process leading up to the World Race. So we learn some things about Training Camp, Launch, and the Race itself. But there aren't a lot of blogs about the in-between. After the conversation ended, I began thinking "Why?"
This period of the In-Between is unique and intense. On the one hand, I feel this incredible excitement and anticipation. I'm ready to step on a plane this second and get the adventure started. This overwhelming joy bubbles out of me at odd times as I look forward to what God is going to do in this next year. Receiving the information about and applying for my Chinese visa yesterday, finding out the city in China where U Squad is going to, and then hearing about God's provision for my squadmate Adam sent me into a hyper and excited frenzy! I've literally been dancing for joy!
On the other hand, however, there are moments of intense sadness and fear. Whenever I say goodbye to someone, or think about the fact that I'll be gone for 11 months straight, or the fact that I'm going to be on the other side of the world, I have a moment of panic and doubt. "Is this really what I'm supposed to do?" The thought of the bills I still have to pay and everything that needs to be checked off my to-do list stresses me out. The thought of leaving my life in Raleigh behind and letting go is scary.
But God is so merciful! In the moments of sadness and fear, He continually reminds me of His love. He brings confirmation that this is His will. He has also been teaching me that this period of the In-Between is in His plan. Otherwise, He would have had me launch straight from Training Camp. He wants me to go through the In-Between for a reason. He keeps reminding me that He has brought the relationships in my life to me for a reason, and He is asking me to give them up for a reason as well. Walking in God's will is amazing, scary, exhilarating, incredible, joyful, and SO COOL! It's hard, but so worth it. Even in the uncertainty and anxiety of the In-Between.
