Healing.
What a word. My favorite definition of it is "to restore to original purity or integrity." The act of healing takes something that is broken, sick, and imperfect and makes it whole, healthy, and perfect again. Before Training Camp, I knew the definition of healing. I had even seen gradual healing and the body's ability to naturally heal itself. God designed our bodies to heal themselves, but sometimes this process gets disrupted and an outside force needs to step in. Usually we rely on doctors, medication, and procedures to provide healing, and we turn to prayer as a last resort. Now, don't get me wrong; I definitely think doctors and the world of medicine have their place, and there are times when we need their expertise and their calm during a crisis. But as Ron declared this week at Training Camp, too often we turn to God when there are no other options. When everything else fails, we finally turn to Him. Yet, He desires for us to call on Him first and to trust that He will heal what is broken. This doesn't mean He always will heal; sometimes He chooses not to in order to teach us to rely on Him daily instead of just for a quick fix.
As I absorbed these words, I struggled. I'm such a logical, visual person, and I come from a family of nurses. The medical world has always fascinated me. Sure, I believed God healed. But when Ron said that we were going to practice prayer healing, I was brought up short. "Really God? Are you really going to do this? Are you really going to heal someone right here in this room?" I hated myself for not totally jumping in and believing that He could and would heal people in the room right in front of my eyes. Yet I still remained skeptical as Ron had us divide into groups of three. He walked us through the process of prayer healing, how we need to call on the Holy Spirit and let Him fill us. I could feel my stomach tightening with nervous anticipation. Would God really heal someone in front of my eyes? Would He forgive my questioning and my doubt? I wanted so badly to believe and to see with my own eyes!
I sat down with Linley and Stephanie K. as people started praying around me. We had a brief discussion and decided that they would pray for me first. They both laid their hands on me and asked me what I needed healing for. I thought for a minute, then asked for healing for my legs, which were extremely painful at the time from running (our exercise for the morning). I didn't know what else to pray for. The girls began praying for me, and I prayed too, that God would reveal Himself to me through this experience. I felt this warmth spread through my legs, and the girls stopped praying and asked me how my legs felt. I hopped up and stretched them…no pain! There was still a little soreness, but it was the good soreness you feel after a great workout. As I sat down again, Linley said she had received a vision while she was praying. She saw me under a black sheet, unable to get out. I began crying. That picture summed up how I had felt for months; under a black sheet of apathy and depression that I couldn't claw my way out of. I was slowly suffocating under it. During worship the night before, I felt it move somewhat, but it still remained over me. I told Linley and Stephanie this, and they started praying for God to work in my heart and remove the "black sheet." Almost immediately, I felt God flood my soul, and all the apathy, depression, bitterness, and guilt left my heart. I felt joy, true joy, for the first time in years! Praise God!
We prayed next for Stephanie, who needed some emotional and spiritual healing. It was amazing to see God break down her walls and heal her. Although she didn't go into much detail, and her healing took place inside her, it was beautiful to see the transformation. I remember having song lyrics pop into my mind and sharing them with her, and her folding under the weight of God's love. So often when we think "healing" we think of physical healing, but emotional and spiritual healing is even more important! I was thankful God showed me His healing of the heart in my life and in Stephanie's.
At this point, I felt so good! I felt joyful and in tune with God and the Holy Spirit, and seeing God working in Stephanie's life before my eyes was incredible. Then it was Linley's turn. We asked her what she needed healing for, and she thought for a minute. She shared with us that she had an injured shoulder that had never healed properly. She had hurt it playing water polo during middle school, and it had bothered her ever since. She had asked for healing for it numerous times, but God hadn't healed it yet. She said she felt that we needed to pray for her shoulder to experience healing. So I got behind her and laid my hand on her shoulder, while Stephanie sat in front of her. We began praying. I honestly don't remember much of what I prayed; the Holy Spirit took over my mouth and words poured out. I do remember naming muscles and nerves in Linley's shoulder and asking for healing for them specifically. We prayed for a few minutes, then stopped and let Linley stand up. She started rotating her shoulder, then stopped and smiled. "It's totally healed!"
I dropped to the ground shaking and crying, tingling with the power of the Lord. Did He really just heal someone through me? Did this really just happen? All doubt was swept from my mind in an instant. I was overcome with the power and the love of the Lord. What a mighty God we serve! I was in awe of Him. He took my unbelief and guilt and turned them upside down. Instead of growing angry with me, He lovingly healed me, then used me to heal two other people. All I could do was whisper praises and thanks to Him. I now know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God moves and He heals! He is truly Rapha, the Healer!
