Let’s cut to the chase. I have 20 days left to fundraise and with ONLY $4,300 to go, I’m ready to call it quits. So close, yet so far. Yeah, yeah, yeah… I know I am called to pray through these times, and never give up because God never gives up. And I know He will provide. But why even try?
That seems to be the question of most unbelievers. Does God even care? If He does, then why hasn’t He interrupted my life? Or fixed things? Or helped me? Even believers ask these questions. I was asking these questions about 2 weeks ago. I felt stuck. And very alone.
It’s funny that I even tried to cope with this by reaching out to my friends back home so much more because my teammates immediately called out my change in spirit. I was pulling away from them when I needed their support the most.
Loneliness has always plagued my life. Yet, I tend to run farther and farther away from God and His love because that means I would have to sacrifice, I would have to submit, and be seen as weak, right?
For so long I’ve been hung up on what I have to give up rather than the reward. What is the reward? Love. Okay but I know I am loved. Then I hear the Father say,
But do you feel it?
This is when I heard Him tell me to give up. Because I don’t have to try. I don’t have to do anything. All I have to do is stop trying. Sounds too good to be true right? Our Squad Leader Jeremy likes to say that’s when we know it’s truly the Father’s love.
And it is. The last week I abandoned the sacrifice mentality and started focusing on the rewards. I gave up my phone, games included. That’s it. And man what God did with the amount of time I gave Him far exceeded what I could have ever done on my own.
So here I am, humbling myself again before Him, and you. I need help. I have $4,300 left to fundraise. I am learning SO MUCH about the Father’s love for myself, and others and isn’t this what it’s all about?
Please share this so we can continue this journey together.
