July 2015 RTU Squads left Training Camp on Sunday, after 10 days of camping, team formation, and learning what it means to missionally live and serve as men and women of the kingdom of God. Julia Robertson of T Squad says it best: She’s done.
When I pulled up to the Adventures in Missions campus in Gainesville, GA a surreal feeling over took me. I felt stunned that after 11 months and a 90 minute car ride, I was face-to-face with a sea of green that was my squad.
I sheepishly grabbed my pack and began walking in the herd of excitement toward registration. After five minutes I finally managed to say a sentence, it sounded something like, “This is so strange and exciting, I can’t make words come out of my mouth!” That was met with a laugh and tensions slowly eased.
*Photo credit: Kirbie Head
We began the 10 day, life-altering experience with corporate worship. The moment the music began, the room swelled with energy alongside my heart-rate. I immediately became overwhelmed with a feeling that I was exactly where I was supposed to be. I felt God giving me the word “family” and saying that these people would change my life.
I saw in them immediately so many characteristics and gifts that I wanted for my own life, and was overjoyed at the opportunity to spend a year growing and walking alongside them. I have always been peculiarly shy in the beginning and slow to start, I’m never the loudest in the room and often have to have my opinion coerced out of me. My start to training camp was no different, but the events following were unprecedented.
Though a large part of training was spent troubleshooting through possible field scenarios and bonding as a squad, the real meat came from intentionally allowing God to work through the scars and junk in our hearts.
We talked about forgiveness, healing, grieving, and how God isn’t afraid of our mess. We talked about what it means to be women and men of God and how each bare a unique image of Christ. We confronted our fears, relinquished our death grips on our lives and said good bye to the lies spoken over us for so many years.
We cried with each other over our losses and we celebrated with each other in Christ’s redemption. We admitted our shortcoming and we spoke bold, cross-reflecting truths over one another in retaliation.
I began to realize my insecurities had long over stayed their welcome in my heart and I simply didn’t have space for them anymore. I could feel them making a slow exit until one night I experienced a genuine turning point.
A woman on staff was speaking to the women about letting go of your baggage and simply being the woman God made you to be. She ended her talk with the words, “Get over yourself and start getting things done for the Kingdom.”
Her words cut like scissors releasing me from the final strings tying me down in shame.
I am done.
I am done tiptoeing around and hoping no one realizes I am unworthy of the Kingdom! I am done allowing fear to stop me from obeying the calling put on my life and I am done allowing my past to control how God uses my future!
Training camp as a whole was a reflection of how life with Christ should be – it was stretching, uncomfortable, unbelievably joy-filled, raw, community focused and Kingdom driven.
*Screen grab from a video by Josh Stoneman, watch it here.
I didn’t leave camp with a retreat-high – actually I left exhausted, sunburnt and covered in dirt. But when rest came, so did the unshakeable feeling of peace that has now filled the newly cleared out place in my heart. I have an overwhelming feeling of calm and clarity that this journey is His plan for me.
My God is bigger than all fears and sin and that’s where and how I choose to live.
*Header photo by Josh Stoneman
Are you “done”? Ready to serve God however and wherever he calls you? Could he be calling you to go on the World Race? Click here to find out more.
