Our current Featured Racer, Christina Young, is on her tenth month of the Race. She's been to Central America, Eastern Europe, Southeast Asia and is now in Rwanda, East Africa. Last month we shared her story. A story of how finding authentic community changed the way she interacted with the church and the way she saw God.
God has brought her through deeper levels of freedom and vulnerability in community and shown her what it looks like to surrender to him daily. You can continue receiving updates from Christina through her blog, and keep reading stories from the field here.
While packing for debrief in Romania, Christina burst into tears.
“I don’t have it all together,” she admitted to a teammate.
She wondered if she would ever fully overcome the feelings of rejection, shame, and condemnation from her past. Would she always struggle comparing herself to other women or even with comparing other’s relationships with God to hers. By the end of her fourth month of the Race, a frustrated Christina, couldn’t help but wonder, “Is it ok to still struggle?
“Somehow on this journey, the thought of being a perfect Christian has crept into my mind.”
“I thought by the end of the Race, I would have it all together, agreed alumni Racer, Kayla House, after reading Christina’s blog. “A common misconception is becoming a missionary will fix all of your problems. That somehow, being on the field and working with orphans and victims of sex trafficking, personal problems will seem insignificant and disappear.
“But your struggles don’t disappear, and you’re left wondering, is it okay to not be okay?”
While packing, Christina came across her Bible and paused. She flipped through the pages hoping to find a verse that would speak to her. She found 1 Corinthians 1:27, “But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty. “
Clarity settled in for Christina, “I’ve been behaving as if I fight battles in my own power. I’ve been acting as if God has made me strong enough to do life myself and I get to come back to him to show off my victories.
“When I am weak, he is strong. I am unable, but Jesus is able. Becoming like Christ is a process, and like any process, it takes time.
“Jesus cares more about the condition of my heart than what I do.”
Our thoughts influence and direct our actions. By examining our thoughts and evaluating if they are God-breathed and life giving, we open ourselves up to changing our thought life. We allow God to renew our mind and in turn, become more like Christ.
By accepting Christina for who she is and not for her accomplishments, Christina’s team gave her the freedom to be herself. Through community, Christina learned that it’s okay to not be okay.
Has there been a time in your life that you didn’t feel like you measured up or had it all together? What did God teach you through it?
