Loving Him with My Thinking

Update, I’m in El Salvador! I’m pretty sure that we got here on Monday.
We’re about an hour outside of the capitol in a medium sized town
called San Vicente! We’re working with a church here doing all kinds of
stuff. They’re making a name for Abba with their Passion! I’ve loved
being part of this body so far, they’re so beautiful. They’re kicking
off a “Salvation” Campaign in a few different cities near here. The
Campaign will be on the 1st-3rd  of April. Our role in that so far has
been showing up in different towns and  surrounding barrios, passing
out info on the events around town, doing dramas, giving testimonies,
praying for people, inviting them to the events, etc. Our month looks
pretty packed, I’m excited to see what the Lord has in store. They want
Him, and that thrills my heart to get to go after Him along side of
these believers. Our ministry in Romania was similar to what we’re
doing here, and it ended up being my favorite month, the Lord showed up
and we got to see Him be Himself and overshadow people with His love.
Please pray for the people here, that they would see His light! So
brilliant, and good!

Oh, please note this: my team is well on it’s way to becoming a group
of well-known performers here in El Salvador. The other night we went
to part one of these campaigns at a huge outdoor venue/church in San
Salvador and performed our drama in front of more than a thousand
people. It’s hilarious to me the random things we find ourselves doing
here on the World Race.

So lately I’ve been  learning to love Abba with my thinking. Easier
said than done. The past 4 months He’s uprooted a lot in my heart.
Revealed lots of lies that I’ve been agreeing with since who knows
when. Then He’s shown me how those lies grew into negative thought
patterns, that grew into unbelief. It gets me to think about how I
haven’t believed things He’s said about me and about Himself for so
long. His voice it is absolutely the final word on EVERYTHING, I love
what Psalms 29 says about His voice:

The voice of the Lord is upon the waters; the voice of the Lord is
powerful, the voice of the Lord is majestic, the voice of the Lord
breaks the cedars; Yes, the voice of the Lord breaks in pieces the
cedars of Lebanon.
One example of this pattern: the Lord showed me at the beginning of the
race that I walked in the lie I was generally inadequate, somehow made
less purposefully than the people around me. Out of that lie I fell
into comparing myself with the people around me, which then furthered
my propensity to perform for the Lord and for others. (Comparison
steals joy like no other. It’s such a trap and it absolutely fruitless.
Based completely on lies and the perspectives of people. )   So when
that negative roots itself in my heart it becomes ground for a lot of
other lies to take root, if I’m inadequate, then Abba probably won’t
use me much, probably doesn’t care about the details of my life, etc,
the lies go on from there. Such bull shit.
 I can’t grow in my identity as a daughter and as the beloved of my
Father if I’m not first believing what He says about me and about
Himself, and absolutely choosing to REST in that. If we’re still
looking around for our existence to be validated by how we compare to
the lives of those around us we need to root out the lie that has found
it’s home in our hearts. We’ve got occupy/dwell in the land He has
given us to live in, A LAND OF ABUNDANCE, where HE is EVERYTHING and
ENOUGH. Everything flows from our standing before the Father.
If I don’t have intimacy with Him, and if I don’t trust what He says
about of me, who He is for me,  I’ll fall into performing, and I’ll run
dry when people don’t recognize who I am.

When Papa speaks life happens, even if it hurts to hear at first. The
enemy’s voice is slimy, untruthful, condemning, fearful, negative,
passive, and generally just filthy and ridiculous; he doesn’t deserve
to be listened to. He literally has nothing of worth to say. Ever. I
think we brush off a lot of negative thoughts as truth, because it’s
what our eyes see, because it’s easy, and in that we passively receive
the lies of the enemy as fact. Learning to really take my thoughts
captive to the glory of the Lord is tough, it requires a lot more
faith, and trust, diligence, and sometimes, just plain stubbornness
than I’d  imagined.  

Something I’m learning in all of this is to find rest in the gentleness
and humility of Jesus. He comes to my sin, my failure and my faults
with gentleness. His commitment to me, His unchanging nature, His
loyalty, His genuine friendship have to be a resting place for my
heart, we have to be yoked to Him and no other.

I’m sorry if this was hard to follow. I ramble when I get passionate
about what I’m sharing. I hope this has blessed you in some way. We’re
so much more than we know, all of us, because of who He is, He doesn’t
make mistakes, He’s such a brilliant artist, and a passionate friend
and Father.
I’ve been studying this teaching from Graham Cooke that’s applicable to
this  subject for a few weeks now and I highly recommend it, it’s
called Overcoming Negativity Through Rest, it’s available on Itunes. Go
for it 🙂

Here’s one of my favorite quotes from it: ” It’s true that we have
faults, but that’s not the TRUTH. The TRUTH is who we are in Jesus. The TRUTH that sets us free is who we are in JESUS. Grace confronts what is true because it has a passion for TRUTH. “