I’m overwhelmed with
joy every time I open my e-mail or check my Facebook messages because without
fail I have at least one e-mail or message from you guys telling me that you
are praying for me. It is truly an incredible blessing to have so many of you
back home supporting me through prayer everyday! I can’t tell you how grateful
I am for you. Since I know you are faithful in prayer, I thought it would be a
good idea to post a prayer request blog.
We have squad debriefs every few months, and while the
structure and content varies, it is always a time of reflection over the
previous months. I’m learning the value of reflection and self-evaluation.
Unfortunately, I don’t typically try to do this until I’m put in a position
where I’m forced. Our last debrief was an extremely encouraging time. I
thoroughly enjoyed the time with the squad, and I believe God used the time to
reveal several things that He wants to work on with me.
Reflecting on my time in East Africa, I realized how much
time and how many opportunities I squandered. It was not the best 3 months for
me, and as I thought about the time, I began to regret the mistakes I made. I
coasted. I just went through the motions. I sought comfort above service. I
didn’t serve the team or even help promote a safe environment on the team. I
wasn’t the spiritual leader to the girls that I’m called to be. I wasn’t…I
didn’t…I wish…
As I thought about the numerous ways that I “dropped the
ball” God reminded me of His love. The song How
He Loves really hit home. One of the lines in the song state, “I don’t have time to maintain these regrets
when I think about the way He loves us.” What a powerful thought!? I can’t
understand it, but God’s love is in no way affected by my performance. I can’t
be good enough for Him to love me more, and I can’t screw up enough for Him to
love me less. God is love. I told that to countless Ugandans and Kenyans, but
somehow I forgot the depth of that truth. He is the very essence of love. It is
completely unconditional. His thoughts for us number greater than the sand on
the seashore! These are the truths that we should be dwelling on.
After realizing and internalizing the truth that I don’t
have to maintain regrets from the past 3 months, I could freely analyze how to
move forward. It would be a lose if I thought about how I messed up, regretted
it, understood that God’s love is still unconditional and then stopped there.
The next logical (and required) step is to focus on how to move forward remembering the mistakes but not dwelling on them. Out
of all of this, there are several areas I really want to work on in this next
season. If you would be praying for me in these areas it would be greatly
appreciated!
- First, I simply don’t want to repeat 3 months of coasting and missed opportunities. I want to go deeper with the Lord daily. I want more of Him above all else.
- I want to maintain a positive attitude; I want to learn to be joyful always. Dad always said growing up to remember the 3 C’s: don’t criticize, condemn, or complain. I was entirely too cynical and sarcastic. I must remember that my words (which are a reflection of my attitude) have power.
- I want to learn to be an encouragement to everyone around me. I want to promote a safe environment for everyone on the team. A part of that is creating an atmosphere of encouragement.
Many times I find that it is much easier to sit back and wait for someone else to get things done. This season, I’m working on taking initiative anytime that I see a need. It’s wrong or just lazy to sit back and wait for someone else to do something I recognize needs to be done.- A goal that should be a daily focus in my life is becoming the man that God wants me to be. That is somewhat arbitrary and cliche, but specifically I need to work on stepping into my role as spiritual leader, walking in integrity, seeking God’s heart above all else, and dying daily to my selfish desires.
I realize that these things are all super obvious and
somewhat Christian cliche requests, but I really feel like these are some of
the things that God placed on my heart after reflecting on the past months. I
simply want to be a living sacrifice
to God.
Romans 12:1-3
1
Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer
your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God-this is your true
and proper worship. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world,
but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test
and approve what God’s will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will.
