Or so I thought….
"God, (no too formal) Father, (Nah that's what everyone calls Him), um..Daddy? (now it just sounds like i'm trying to hard.) Well..if you're still listening, I'd really like too see You right now. You see, I watch everyone else and they look like they REALLY love you and can feel you present with them. I have "known" You a long time, but Father I'm severely disscontent. I want more, I always have but, as I watch my brothers and sisters shout your glory I know i'm missing something. I want to feel you father, and if I don't, I fear of losing my faith. I have begged and begged to see your face, and Father I know "if I seek, I will find", so where are You? Is their some plague keeping You from getting too close to me? Am I defective God? Why do you allow this wall to horde your intimacy from me? Anyways, I love you and I hope you love me." – Me the first 5 Days of camp.
So here's a missconception: God is on OUR schedule.
I know it sounds like common knowledge, but this one belief nearly ruined my faith. In my mind if I ask God to show up and He doesn't it could only mean a few theings. 1. He isn't there. 2. He isn't listening. 3. I don't know how to pray.
Now i'm going to try and keep this blog from being 9 pages long, so I will get to the Heart.
So when it was the Father's timing and not my own, He showed up for me, in full force. Looking back now there was nothing I could do to expedite the process, I just needed to learn that He knows when to reveal Himself to me. Now I don't want to brag here, but last week I got married. To the KING. Jealous? I am the bride of Christ. My husband, (you know the God of all creation? yeah Him) took me aside and showed Himself to me. Completely revolutionized anything I thought I ever knew about Him. He Restored Me.
Now I know this a vague explanation of what happened to me so I guess that means you're going to have to get in touch with me and talk to me about it to find out more!
So, I don't dare try and describe camp. It was pain/growth/love that you cannot fathom. I have never seen what I believe is the Biblical definition of the Church until last week. People laying themselves down second by second for one another. My family are rebels. Needless to say i'm in love with them all.
I always feel like I can only get 10% of my thoughts out when I sit down to write these. So, please don't hesitate to ask me about anything from the past week, past month, or past 21 years.
Yours in Life,
Tyler
