Consider ME attacked... - Explore Archived World Race Alumni Blogs

Going into the W.R. I pictured this amazing journey that would challenge me to the fullest. I pictured places of brokenness and pain beyond what I have ever felt. I knew this journey would not be easy and even bragged about how hard it will be physically and spiritually before I left. But God works in mysterious ways and temptation is cleaver in many ways too.

We are now in almost 5 months deep. I think thus far the trip has gone very well as far as physically. I have done everything from teaching English, to construction, to working with children, to working with CRU (I'm working with CRU in MOLDOVA), and so much more. Each month has had its difficulties but nothing so far I couldn't handle or turn to God for. Of course we have team arguments and miss communications sometimes but no big deal. God has handled everything I couldn't with grace and love perfectly. I have had no problem accepting the amazing contacts we have had so far. And living in the warm, internet filled apartments we have had this month in Moldova has been a blessing. Even getting to sleep in our own beds. Life has been some what comfortable and easy. I did not expect this at all. I did not picture this at all. But everybody says enjoy it while it lasts because you never know when something won't go as smooth and you end up fearful and uncomfortable. Brokenness and fear is what I was expecting….

I haven't been feeling like myself for the past few days. The 2 or 3 days before our amazing new English Club is going to be starting. The few days before this amazing opportunity to LOVE on students, teach English, and share my stories and testimony with them. This English Club is exactly what this month of ministry is about and I want to see the lost and broken find Jesus here.Its opportunities like these that I get so pumped over because this is what I was sent here to do. But these few 2 days before English Club began I was not being myself and my whole team noticed this change.

All my life I have had some anger towards others at times. Sometimes even some hatred towards people too. I have been known to be impatient and selfish….REALLY SELFISH. I have struggled with judgment, and gossip, and slander. LOTS OF THINGS and I just accepted they were a part of me and my personality. These things would come out from time to time but I would never even think twice about it. Like it was normal and everybody has to deal with it in their lives too. I have WEAKNESS AND IM WEAK……BUT THAT IS NOT WHO I AM IN JESUS. My team knows this and knows when I am in the LIGHT and knows when I am being attacked.

When all these things happen to me it is Satan and temptations to fall and fail in these things that are consuming me. Spiritually I have been in the word each day maybe even multiple times and still these feelings of anger and frustration CONSUME ME!!! THAT IS NOT NORMAL!!! I have been lied to all my life and accepted that those feelings are apart of who I am BUT ITS ALL NOT TRUE!!!! and I should know better than to accept it as such. That is why my team meet together and prayed over me because we have grown very close and they know me. THEY KNOW ME and JESUS KNOWS ME! Thank the Lord for knowing me and how I need him daily. That temptation and attacks have no power in his presence. Prayer helped and after I felt very broken and started to cry. ( I NEVER CRY)

2 Corinthians 12:10
Wherefore I take pleasure in weaknesses, in injuries, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong

I HAVE WEAKNESS, I HAVE SHAME, I HAVE FORGETFULNESS.

I have felt the ATTACK and lets just say it wasn't easy to deal with.

My whole life I have had some anger, impatience, and fear that I THOUGHT was normal.

THAT'S NOT NORMAL WHEN YOUR WALKING IN THE LIGHT!

This weeks English Club started off very well and now is in full swing. The enemy has no say in this place and Lord willing there will be people coming to Christ this week and learning English along the way!!! Thank you for everything you all have done for me and continue to do for Jesus. He is our King and Lord and knows all too well how much we need him. So we will continue this mission and journey growing in every way each day. I really LOVE how that we all live in community here it doesn't leave any stone unturned. EVERYTHING comes out good or bad. The Lord is working in Team "UNVEILED PURSUIT"!!!! We go to Africa in 10 days so please keep us in your prayers for that because 3 months of our whole trip will be there. IT WILL BE SO SICK!!!!!

July 1st is our last support deadline, So I have 2 months to raise the rest of our support for this Amazing Mission!!! It will be 2,659 left till I'm fully funded and just need ideas (out of the box) on how to raise the rest so please let me know!!! and Brittany if you are reading this blog maybe you can do a bake sale or something. HAHA SWEET!!!

I really want to just say also I miss home ALOT and KNOW that I miss my family so much. I'm a little home sick but hopefully that will pass soon. This place we are with working with CRU is legit and I know I will have this opportunity again.

GOD IS GROWTH AND CHANGE AND LOVE!!! Amen Blessings to ALL!!!