A question that I have recently started to fall in love with is, “What makes your heart come alive?” This is a question that I never really quite understood how to answer until recently, and even now my answer still isn’t complete. What I do know is that to ever really fully understand what my passions are, I first need to full seek the Lord and define myself by what he calls me/ what he has called me to. Starting to walk in those things has really brought up some things that really begin to stir my soul, and when I even think about doing those things makes my heart comes alive.
To start of the list of things that make my heart swell; we have the people that claim Christianity, but at the same time worship idols and make sacrifices. The reason that this really gets me going is just the fact that they just don’t know any better, or it is just something they think they have to do to protect their families. To give an example of this: when I went to Haiti last summer there were people who loved the Lord dearly, but at the same time they would dig these holes and burry live chickens in them. The reason for this was that they thought that this would appease Satan and protect their families, and knowing what we know that is not true at all. The thing is that they just don’t really know any better, and if you’re answer to this is, “Well if you look at Scripture it says this,” and you are indeed correct. The flaw in that argument is that most people in third world countries don’t have the Scriptures readily available, and the only time they ever get to hear it is if a pastor preaches on it or a missionary shares it with them. The reason that I think this stirs my heart is that these people are missing out on such a huge part of the Lord, they’re missing something so amazing just so that they can feel a sense of protection for their families. This absolutely breaks my heart. My brothers and sisters have no idea of their wrongs, and some of them may never even know that a better way to protect themselves is right in front of them. They deserve the protection that comes along with Christ, but they were never told that it existed by the people that came and brought them to Christ.
That is a perfect transition to the next thing that awakens my heart: the young Christians that get left behind whenever they get converted. To explain this a little better, my heart stirs for the people that are converted and saved by missionaries; but when they are in the infancy of their Christianity there is no one there to guide them through it. They are left alone with no guidance, no way for them to really know how to seek out the Lord. I mean that is just the way things go nowadays, we view saving our brothers and sisters as this one instance of faith, but in reality it needs to be a journey with them. Just think about your own walk with Christ: you get converted and people immediately begin to pour into you and guide you through your faith. That time is so beneficial and crucial to us, but people all over the world are getting denied this opportunity and time for growth. This isn’t always something that can be helped though; I know that there are instances where people would love to get the opportunity to stay and disciple them, but that is just not the way that the world works. Short term missions come with time restraints and there is only so much that can be done, but that doesn’t change the fact that my heart breaks for my siblings in Christ. They just need someone to come in and disciple them, and to really just sit and do life with them.
That is where my latest passion comes into play. The past two weeks, the Lord has just put this intense desire for discipleship into my life. It includes both being a disciple, as well as having the desire to disciple people as well. There are so many things I want to do with the people of the world, and I’m really starting to see how all my passions feed into that. Take community for example, in my mind when it comes down to making disciples it really involves being in community with them. The other two things that I’ve seen make me come alive also play a part in making disciples of people, the things that I want to accomplish all require being in that intimate setting with people. Something that I am really starting to understand about myself is that it’s always when I have those hearts to hearts with people is when I start feeling alive, and it is now clear why I always crave those kinds of conversation with really any person I meet. I’ve never really been one for casual conversation, it always felt dull and uninspiring; but now, I’m finding all these ways to make cool things just happen through casual conversation, and the feeling of coming alive is just an added benefit.
About a week ago, a teammate of mine, Paul, did some listening prayer for me. In one of the things that he heard he heard that I am meant to be like Paul(the biblical one), the thing is at the moment I am more of a Timothy. After reading 1st and 2nd Timothy, I’ve come to realize that I am completely okay with that fact. Timothy had so much to offer, and he was in such a place of learning that I really desire at the moment. Whenever I hear about a pastoring teaching about how we are all called to be Timothy at some point, it always sounds like being a Timothy is going to be this thing that is a formality and you just have to do it. Going into it with that mindset will ruin it, because I went into it with the heart of joy and it was fantastic. The things that he learned because he was in a stage of receiving is amazing, and I cannot wait to enter into that time as well. I have no problem with being a Timothy at the moment, he was able to do great things regardless of if he was fully grown and still learning. I’m seeing great things done everyday in the youth around me; I’m seeing lives radically impacted on the daily, whether it is our own or just those that we come into contact with.
The heart is something that the Lord longs to have; and when he truly has it, that’s when you can experience the fullness of what He has put in it. I was only able to find all these passions because I first sought the Lord, none of these things would have risen up in me otherwise. It also wasn’t this huge long struggle to get the Lord to show me all these things, all I had to do was ask. I’m starting to see that Lord just loves to reveal things that he has placed into you. It’s in those moment that the Lord shows me how I was created, that I really understand just the greatness and goodness of my Father. My passions are entirely my own, and they are given to me for a unique purpose. No one can wield the gifts that I have like I do, regardless if they have the same gifts or not. The Lord has made me for a purpose, my heart sings for a reason.
The Lord has called us to be a risen people, and what I’m seeing is a world of dead Christians. The heart longs to be stirred by the Lord, but complacency has come in and told us that what we have is enough. Just let the Lord really begin to stir what is inside of you, let the Creator breathe life into you one more time. All I know is that I was tired of feeling that there was always something more, and the whole time it was the fact that my heart just wanted to beat again. When the Creator breathes and speaks into you, that is when you will truly see what you have been missing this whole time. There is value in just sitting in the presence of the Lord, and just sitting and listening to His voice. I think that when we finally take that time to sit and listen, that is when we start feeling the tiniest of heartbeats.
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