A month or so prior to leaving for the Race, I found myself at a concert with a group of friends. I saw a girl I hadn’t seen in years, and as we were having the typical conversation of, “What are you doing now with your life?”, it was my turn to respond and I told her I was leaving to travel the world the next year for mission work. She looked at me a little confused and asked…. “Trish are you having an identity crisis?!” I smiled.
I’m aware of the look, the confusion, because typically people seem to be in a particular age group when they go on a mission’s trip and typically mission’s trips look a certain way. However, neither the Race nor I fit into the “typical” category.
At first the comment stung, but as I thought about it I thought…ya you know what. I guess I am. I am having an identity crisis.
For several years worldly things defined me. Teams I was on, places I’d lived, jobs I’d held, people I’d dated all spoke to the core of what I believed about myself. I had let these things and people speak louder into who I was than God’s voice. I was over chasing accolades, approval, whatever it was. I was over allowing broken people define what I thought about myself because I too had become very broken. Unfortunately we start losing our identity when we start believing what other people think about us, and this had happened to me.
I needed out, and as I prayed to God that something had to give he threw the Race in my face. He invited me on the most incredible journey with Him and at first I resisted because the newness of what He was offering was scary. There’s a strange comfort in ordinary. There’s no fear in settling, but fortunately that was never a realistic option. God was calling me to more than I could have asked for as He was rewriting what I believed about my identity.
The ministry site we’re staying at this month rescues victims of rape and incest and cares for them and their babies. There are also six special needs girls who call this their home. The world may look at these boys and girls and try to label them or speak into their identity, but they are God’s beautiful children. The world may say because this person is your parent or because you were born with this birth defect you are limited in this way. The world and people in it may try to speak death over them but God speaks life. He has an incredible story for each and every one of them.
Identity can be found in your bad choices because you can start believing that’s who or what you are now. If Jesus is the most important person in your life He will redefine your identity. You become who God created you to be and trust me….I’m thankful for my identity crisis because man is His plan better than anything I could have ever dreamed up!
