Whoa! How foolish was I to think I could somehow escape God’s wrecking ball!
Let me tell ya, he made it very clear from the moment I stepped foot at training camp that my prideful self would be demolished!!!
I stepped off the bus 300 dollars short because my ATM card was not working at the airport (my bank put a hold on my account because they thought someone had stolen my card and was using it in Georgia)
I didn’t think this would be a big deal. I thought I would be allowed to call my bank on Monday and clear up the mishap. WRONG!!! God had a totally different plan. Upon check in I was informed that I could not continue with training camp without that money, and since I had no one to call, my only option was to humbly ask my squad to come together and cover me. WHAT!?! Remember my last blog, that prideful girl I was talking about…. yeah this is where God started wrecking her.
You see, I am pretty independent. I hate feeling weak or vulnerable… Up until this point I had been riding on a plane in the clouds and felt untouchable. Well my plane took a nose dive in the middle of nowhere Georgia. My mind went into freak out mode. I will admit, I seriously thought
about leaving in that moment. Things like “I can’t, I won’t, you can’t make me!” Swirled through my head. I’m not the type of person to ask anyone for help. I’d rather do it myself. I mean I don’t even ask people I’ve known for years for help. How could they ask me to ask complete strangers for money. No way! In my heart I was prepared to leave, but my feet wouldn’t let me. It was like they were glued to the ground. I can’t explain it, but as I was lead over to two of my squad leaders Jeremy and Erica, I swear I wasn’t in control because if I was I would have ran as far away from that place as I could. But I couldn’t. As we approached Jeremy and Erica I felt
angry, hurt, betrayed, VULNERABLE!!! But in the midst of those silent feelings, these two people were ready to stand by me and fight with me. They had this crazy notion that God was going to use this situation somehow for his glory & Before I knew it we were standing in front of half of O squad & the stage was mine. I tried to keep the warm salty tears welling up behind my eyes from spilling out, as I asked these people who didn’t even know my name for money. For the chance to continue this journey. In my mind, I was positive they wouldn’t care. They didn’t know me, and they have their own support accounts to worry about. The plane wreck from the nose dive I had just experienced was on fire, but I still pushed forward. A complete mess in my heart.! And to my surprise God provided the rain to put out the fire from my plane wreck. He provided rain through the most unlikely people (in my mind). To my surprise these people who didn’t even know my name wanted me to be at training camp. They extended the love of God & confirmed that I belonged on that squad. I didn’t know why, but they did. God completely humbled me in those moments. He pretty much laid me on my face. Looking back on that moment, I can see God all over it. My balance was paid by strangers destined to become family. & the situation eerily echoed what Christ did on the cross….& even now I can hear God whisper I love you!!! Little did I know this was just the beginning. & I would soon learn God wasn’t finished with my lesson on pride…. As he continued to pursue my heart, he would soon show me sometimes pride does literally come before a fall.
