Once again God has been humbling me and proving me wrong with my spiritual skeptivity (is that a word?). Now I know that God isn’t always going to be giving us an answer or telling us exactly which direction to turn when we want to hear it. There is something beautiful about the wait and receiving an answer or gift after having to wait for it. I am a firm believe that God doesn’t like to do things early…he’s never late by His standards…but always shows up just in time (whether that matches up with our time table or not). I have been trying to experiment with these things though… like taking the Spirit at His word, learning to identify when He’s speaking to me, etc.
A couple of weeks ago, we were at a ladies worship night at our church and we had an amazing time of worship. While we were praising, I had that funny feeling like the Spirit was speaking to me. I thought it was just me…but when you hear it over and over again you start to wonder. I felt like He was saying that someone specific that was there needed to know that God thought they were beautiful. I was like well duh, all women need to be told that they are beautiful. That’s my life goal…to teach women about Christ by working through the one basic principle that the Creator of the universe thinks we are precious in His sight. I pushed that thought back down. It came back. Then I feel in my spirit: “say it.” I say no. Again, the Spirit is prompting me, “say it.” Nope. Sorry. No way do I want to speak up in front of these women and tell them that the voices in my head are telling me to say something. Of course I used that excuse that I want to be one of those Christians that is cool, someone that others want to be like…not one of those Christians that are proclaiming stuff in the middle of services lol. So my mom is up there talking and I’m sitting there with my hands covering my mouth to prevent any word slippage. oh I’m starting to sweat now. lol I can feel it coming. All of the sudden, without any warning, my hand slips up. Before I can bring it down, she sees me and calls my name. FAIL. lol so I start talking and I just start saying what I felt like the Spirit was telling me. “Someone here needs to know that God thinks you are beautiful. That He loves you. That He desires you and wants to make you whole…” I said everything and sat back just shaking from being overwhelmed with the Spirit and from embarassment. We prayed and then like any good churchgoers, went to eat some dessert. I wasn’t out there for two minutes before a new visitor to the church came up to me in tears and fell into my arms saying that she was the one that needed to hear that. She said she had felt something say to her that she needed to pay attention because God had something to say to her. She had been struggling with self-worth for years as the result of many struggles and she finally heard that freeing message that every woman wants to hear, “I [the LORD] think you are beautiful. I created you and you are precious in my sight.”
Once again… I am a believer. 🙂
