For me, I don’t think of my testimony of being inspiring or exciting by any means. However, that isn’t for me to decide. Someone out there might read this and be going through the exact same thing. They might think this blog was meant just for them. God might use my testimony to speak truth into others lives. I’m not going to captivate your mind with my awe inspiring writing either. I’ve never been a great communicator, especially through writing, so I’m just going to be as honest as I possibly can.
Typical Christian kid raised in a Christian home by two loving parents and two abusively loving older brothers. I was saved at a young age, maybe 4 or 5 I don’t really remember. I just remember sitting in my room with my mom praying to accept Jesus in my heart. I went to church every Sunday morning and Wednesday evening. I never really liked it, dressing up, saying memory verses, sitting still and being quiet in ‘Big Church’ as I called it, it was just the main church service. As I grew older and went to youth group I got to enjoy it a little more, having small groups, service projects, youth retreats, and a few missions trips. These were all good things I was doing throughout junior high and high school but I can honestly say I never felt ‘on fire for Christ’. I read my bible, did my devotions and prayed once a day because that’s how I thought Christianity worked. I thought I could keep God in my pocket and just pull him out whenever I needed him. But thats not how it works. Not at all. God isn’t someone we can put in our pocket like that. It took me a long time to figure this out.
I graduated high school in 2015 without a clue what to do with my life. I felt so lost because I couldn’t figure out what I wanted to do. I decided to take what little scholarship money I got in high school and use it to take some gen-ed classes at the local community college and work part time until I figured out what I really wanted to do. This was no doubt the worst year of my life. I woke up went to school, didn’t talk to anyone (mostly because I just didn’t want to), worked out, went home, did home work and went to sleep. I worked on the weekends and that forced my to not be able to go to church. That was my life for a year. I felt so lonely. My relationship with God was almost non-existent. I got into stuff I shouldn’t have that wasn’t at all glorifying to God. I hated every minute of that year.
One day I was eating dinner with my family, my dad looked at me and asked me “have you ever thought about traveling” my immediate answer was “heck no, I like my life how it is now, its comfortable.” He had asked me this because he was talking about studying abroad, he wanted me to get away from home, to put it short he wanted me to grow up a little on my own. I thought about that question he had asked me the rest of the night. Mind you I love my sleep and like to go to bed no later than 10pm, I found myself sitting on my couch at 3am trying to find long term missions trips. Where did that come from? I just spent the last year of my life focused on nothing but myself so far from God yet here I am looking at long term missions trips? I shut my laptop and went to bed.
The next day I found myself in the same spot looking into long term missions trips. God had put an overwhelming desire in my heart to abandon everything I know, abandon all comfort and just go. My heart all of a sudden ached for the poor, sick, lame, and lost people of all the nations. Again, where did this feeling come from? Just yesterday I didn’t care at all about any of these people yet here I am wanting nothing more than to go help them and share the gospel with them. I couldn’t explain it. So, eventually I came across the World Race. It looked familiar and thats because I knew of a guy that lived a town over that did it who happens to be a good friend of mine now, Will. Ha funny how God works like that. I knew the World Race was the one but I was hesitant to apply. That same day when I went to the gym I ran into one of my best friends, Chase. I told him about the Race and I was half way thinking about doing it. He did nothing but encourage me to apply for the Race and I thank him for that. I went home later that day and applied.
I got accepted! I was thrilled and scared at the same time. I knew this was what God had in mind for me and was confident of that fact and still am. My life has been drastically changing everyday since that night. I truly feel ‘on fire for Christ’. I want nothing more than to seek after God and advance his kingdom. I’m now set to leave at the beginning of October for Ecuador for 3 months, then to India for 3 and finally ending the trip in Zambia for a final 3 months. This missions trip is only the beginning of my earthly journey with Christ.
“A ship at harbor is safe- but that is not what ships are for.” -John A. Shedd
