I’ve been having a little trouble sleeping and found myself wondering whether a sleep aide would help. Not normal..as I’ve grown out of the habit to reach for a bottle to suppress anything that my body is naturally going through. However, this case was a little different. Over the course of the last 3 days I had slept a total of 9 hours.
So I decided to enlist the help of a professional. Bambi Bigley is a certifiable walking drug store. How she got across the border and into this country without having to show a presidential seal of approval for all the drugs she’s carrying is beyond me – but I digress.
So here is am it’s about 7:30pm and I’m no where near interested in sleeping. But I know that I have a challenging couple days coming up and I needed some rest if I were to come out on the other side of this coming week in a healthy way.
So I grabbed 4 of her most powerful sleep aide and laid there. 7:45pm …wait for it. 8:20 … wait for it. 8:50pm …still waiting for it. 9: 30pm ….when is this stuff gonna kick in..? 9:50 pm …oh, there it izzzzz. And that’s all she wrote for the next couple hours.
I remember tossing and turning quite a bit. Trying to get comfortable in my head enough to let my body rest. Restful sleep has been something that is more of a luxury than a necessity. Have you ever been sleeping and woke up and felt no more rested than when you first laid down?
That is what I’ve felt for sometime here lately. It’s been really interesting and all I can say is thank God for good book (like the Bible) and endless conversation with those who are waking up in the states while most are going to sleep here in Eastern Europe.
So, I get up around 6am. Not fully rested..so I lay there a bit – and pray. I don’t remember any dreams. But I know that I commit everything to God before my feet hit the floor daily. That’s why I like to wake up without an alarm or before I have to be somewhere. It helps me to make sure that I’m giving my best and my first to Him.
After the rest of the family woke up …I realized that everyone had been talking about something. So I asked “what’s so funny?” Instantly they told me that I had been talking in my sleep. “Talking in my sleep..?”
“I thought to myself…I wonder what kinda foolishness I said?” Interesting…what was there that was so strong that the Holy Spirit had to wait until this “hard-headed person went to sleep before I could really talk to God?
Hmmmm…
So I asked…”what did I say?” And after some giggling and fun-filled banter back and forth..they said you talked out loud, kinda frustrated…but then you kept repeating ” But I have nothing else to give…”
So I thought to myself..? There is no one in my life that I am even remotely close enough with the have a disagreement with. I’m on this trip with a bunch of crazy Christ followers who are growing along side me, but we all manage to put our brokeness in His hands and not carry it to rest with us as often as possible.
So I wasn’t sure where to go with this one.
Until, I got the idea that I should reach out to my good friend/mentor and ask his perspective about where I was headed and what was happening with me.
Was there something I was missing. Something that was so obvious in my life it created a blind spot, therefore challenging me to only be able to comprehend and honestly respond (or be responsive) once I’m asleep.
That’ pretty freakin’ hard headed..!
When God’s gotta wait until you go to sleep to talk with you…that’s pretty hard headed.
Well …what to do with that..?
Not sure…so I will try for round 2 (tonight) with the man upstairs and see what He has in store..
But before I go..there’s one more question… ..”who was I talking to?”
Answer: i’ll let you know when I find out…
