I don’t believe in one rock bottom when you are on the race. I believe you hit many along the way. Sort of a path to becoming fully free from the person you’ve tried so long to create on your own.
The transformation of me in these past seven months has been nothing short of phenomenal. God has touched every part of my character and brought me from team leader to team member, from insecure to secure, from prideful to humble and from a boy to man. People see a change in me both physically and in how I speak.
I’ve gone from finding worth in my accomplishments to finding worth in showing people just how much Christ loves them and believes in them. I’ve gone from beliveing a title measured my worth to understanding that the greatest feeling is serving and loving people with them not always fully knowing it.
My heart has grown ten times in size these past few months. So much so that I cannot look at a squad member without the feeling of wanting to love them to the moon and back. The women of this squad have taught me what it means to serve unconditionally and the guys of this squad are ones I would fight alongside in any battle.
When I got pulled up to squad leader last month I was right in the middle of a dry seasson. God was not audible and it was not a bad thing. All of December in Malaysia I felt God promising me “growth”. When Japan came around and God felt distant I was not afraid because I knew I was coming into a season that would develop growth. I was not expecting to be squad leader, having been freed from a leadership position at the beginning of month three brought me into the understanding that I did not need the title of leader to be who God created me to be; an encourager, listener and wisdom-giver. But God said it was time and that I was ready.
I am not a perfect squad leader. I hit my second rock-bottom last month during my first month as squad leader. I had burned my own oil out and the well had run dry. I was so concerned for everyone else and learning the process that I left myself behind. That’s a weakness. Sometimes I forget to practice what I preach. But I am learning and still growing. God’s still proud of me and still has me where I am at because because He says I am ready.
Here’s the thing. I don’t regret the rock bottom and I don’t fear the ones to come. It was a fall into God’s arms that I have very much needed. A check-in from God. A rest I’ve been searching for. It’s a time of re-alignment and re-commitment and brings things into perspective.
So this is my time.
I know and believe more and more each day that:
I am worthy,
I have a voice that needs to be heard,
I speak truth,
I am a man on fire after The Lord,
I can be followed,
I can be trusted,
I am a leader,
I am a good listener,
I am a good encourager,
I am deserving of all His love,
I am His and He called me by name,
I was created in His image (there are no flaws),
I am unique,
I can run forward,
I can live with passion,
I can risk it all,
I can pursue his vision for my life.
This is my time! God has given me the “Go Ahead!”
It’s all a part of the transformation of Trent.
Hey! I still need $1,800 to be fully funded for the World Race. I am working alongside three awesome squad leaders to push our entire squad of men and women to pursue God’s will for their lives. Help me to continue the good work and support me financially. Click “Support Me” on the left-hand menu bar.
