The last two weeks, I have had a kidney stone. It’s been awful pain that feels like an alien is going to come out of my back. I still haven’t passed it. (Yes, mom, I am drinking a lot of water. Katlyn the neurosurgeon diagnosed me.) I was on my back on the concrete one night, writhing in pain for the 6th day in a row. I was BEGGING God, “Heal me! Why wont you take away this pain?” And I heard His small, still voice, “Thank Me for the pain.” I said in a much uglier way: NO! Thank Him for the pain? I am in agony! I can’t do ministry or worship! Why should I thank Him? But I gritted my teeth and with all the sarcasm and no heartfelt gratitude? I said, “Thank you, Lord, for the pain.” Instantly, the pain subsided for the night.
The next day when I was in pain again, I would “thank Him,” seeing if I just needed to say a BS “thank you” to get the thorn out of my side. God knew my heart and did not remove it (rightfully so).
On the 8th day of crying and trying to find a place in my heart to thank the Lord for my kidney stone, He told me, “My grace is sufficient for you.” I said, “Thanks, God. That is non applicable right now.” Those words, “my grace is sufficient for you”, continued to reappear all day. Finally I looked up the verse. 2 Corinthians 12:9 “My grace is sufficient for you. My power is made perfect in your weakness.” Right before that verse in 2 Cor. 12:7, Paul talks about how the Lord game him a “thorn in his flesh” and Paul had begged God to remove it. God did not remove his pain because His power is made perfect in weakness. I know that the Lord will not heal me until I need to be. In the meantime, I am learning to “take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong” 2 Cor. 12:10
