“Jillian, Jillian.”
“What did you say God?”
“What did you say God?”
“Jillian.”
“Umh…no. My name is Tomina.”
“Find Jillian.”
“Okay. Then what?”
“Jillian.”
“Jillian.”
Two days later I was huddled with me team in my icy hotel room in Northern China preparing for our first day at the University. We were enrolled in an exchange program, taking Chinese classes in the morning and holding English Corner in late afternoon. Our lunch period and early afternoons were left open to make individual appointments with students. As my team prayed and discussed our plans for the day, I shared my conversation with God and my need to find Jillian. My team agreed to be on the lookout for my girl – although I still wasn’t sure what I was to do once I found her.
Our first class was a tour of campus. Campus was large and beautiful but very windy and cold. I was so thankful I had put on a long sleeve in addition to the t-shirt, sweatshirt, coat, mittens, and hat I was already wearing. When class ended I was quickly swept up by two seniors, Rose and Carrie. They walked me straight to the cafeteria firing questions as quickly as I could answer. They were both English majors and were more accustomed to the exchange program than most students. They ordered my lunch and informed me that we would go to the park after we ate. As I awkwardly handled my chopsticks, Carrie waved a friend over to our table. The girl moved through the crowd to join us. She was smiling wide as Carrie introduced her as Jillian. My heart was beating so hard I thought it might be visible through my many layers.
Our first class was a tour of campus. Campus was large and beautiful but very windy and cold. I was so thankful I had put on a long sleeve in addition to the t-shirt, sweatshirt, coat, mittens, and hat I was already wearing. When class ended I was quickly swept up by two seniors, Rose and Carrie. They walked me straight to the cafeteria firing questions as quickly as I could answer. They were both English majors and were more accustomed to the exchange program than most students. They ordered my lunch and informed me that we would go to the park after we ate. As I awkwardly handled my chopsticks, Carrie waved a friend over to our table. The girl moved through the crowd to join us. She was smiling wide as Carrie introduced her as Jillian. My heart was beating so hard I thought it might be visible through my many layers.
“Now what God? What now?”
“My Jillian.”
“My Jillian.”
“Thanks God. That was a huge help.”
My thoughts dripped with sarcasm. I wanted desperately to hear God and to understand the things I was hearing but I seemed to be failing. I didn’t know what God wanted me to do after I met Jillian. So I went to the park with the girls that afternoon and continued to spend time with them all week. We went for pizza and shopping, visited their dorm rooms and went to karaoke. I was surprised how quickly our friendship formed.
At the beginning of my second week I began talking with the girls about holidays. My hope was that it would lead to a conversation about Christmas and Easter, and therefore God. It worked! I was able to talk about Jesus’ birth, life, death and resurrection. The girls seemed mildly curious and asked a few questions about my beliefs. I felt there was so many different things I could say yet all I kept talking about was God’s love. I felt like an awkward middle-school student who had forgotten the words to their speech and so repeated the same line over and over hoping that the other words would magically come back to them. I felt so dumb but no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t seem to leave this point. God loves you.
At the beginning of my second week I began talking with the girls about holidays. My hope was that it would lead to a conversation about Christmas and Easter, and therefore God. It worked! I was able to talk about Jesus’ birth, life, death and resurrection. The girls seemed mildly curious and asked a few questions about my beliefs. I felt there was so many different things I could say yet all I kept talking about was God’s love. I felt like an awkward middle-school student who had forgotten the words to their speech and so repeated the same line over and over hoping that the other words would magically come back to them. I felt so dumb but no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t seem to leave this point. God loves you.
This was the only opportunity I got to share with Jillian. I still don’t fully understand God’s request, but I am starting to understand the importance of my broken record message. God loves Jillian regardless of whether or not she believes in him. She is his; His Jillian. I pray that my words would penetrate her heart and create a spark of curiosity which will lead her to him.
