Well if there is one huge way AIM challenges
racers, it is to let go of expectations, and to constantly be checking
ourselves for expectations we don’t even know we’ve made. Today is our first
day of ministry, and here I am. At our house. Not at ministry. And never in my
wildest thoughts did I actually think I’d have to give up my FIRST day of
ministry of eleven months. So, apparently I expected to be doing.
And so you ask: My dearest Tiff, why are you not at ministry? Why did God ask you to
let go of that?
We rewind.
During the first few days of launch when just
the leaders were here, I would not sit still. I organized, and planned, and
plotted, and accomplished. After two days, the rest of the squad got there, and
I was already burnt out. And that’s super confusing for me because I am a doer. I serve, serve, serve, fill need,
fill need, get things done. During those few days though, I started feeling
like it was not okay for me to be
doing all of this. I couldn’t imagine why though. Being servant-hearted is an
incredible gift. Until we remember the story of Martha and Mary. Martha spent
her time serving Jesus during his visit, filling every single imaginable need,
except she never just enjoyed Him, whereas
Mary sat in his presence and soaked in every ounce of His presence she could.
Now, there are times to be Mary and there are
times to be Martha. But. I have lived my life as Martha, and I’ve never known
how to be a Mary. So I started asking God about this. Well apparently I wasn’t
the only one who felt I needed to hear this because two of our leaders
separately prayed for me to learn to just sit still, to rest, to learn my worth
by knowing Him first.
And it’s true. But I don’t know how that looks. So. Jump forward a few
days.
After five days of incredible Spirit-filled
training at Launch, our amazing logistics men whisked us off to beautiful Boca
Chica beach last Sunday. And being the water baby that He made me, I dove in
the water, and swam and swam and kept swimming. So there’s a gorgeous island
off in the distance to where I set my sights. I get there. No island. Just
brush growing in the water. So we turn around. And mid swim, my body starts
tingling and burning head to toe. Brilliantly, I go under water to discover we
are in the middle of this huge bay in a cloud of jellyfish. And our bodies are
stinging, but the only thing to do is keep swimming. Upon make it back to
shore, our bodies turned bright red with crazy slashes, and we burn. But
anyway, we’re fine. We’re all fine.
Monday we all head out to our ministry sites.
My left arm is still covered in these weird red lines but they didn’t hurt. But
my lips are BURNING.
Tangent: So four of our teams climb onto
air-conditioned busses, drive a few hours through the gorgeous Dominican
countryside and arrive at a beautiful home where we are staying for the month.
It has running water, mattresses for almost all of us, showers, and a full
kitchen. We’re living in really close community this month, and we fondly call
it: the Real World: Dominican Edition.
Now, here we are. We all met our ministry
contacts yesterday, and spent the day exploring the “city�—finding internet,
clean water, open air markets, grocery stores and all of that jazz. As the day
progressed, I started noticing really small bubbles appearing on my arm and my
lips. And they continued to grow and grow and fill with puss and more puss. And
it was revolting.
So, as these beautiful pockets begin to form
on my arm, one huge one develops at the elbow bend, preventing me from doing
just about anything with said arm. Today I wake up, and those little suckers
are still there and turning yellow. So, we decide that it would be really tough
for me to be playing with kids all morning if I can’t even bend an arm,
especially because if one blister popped I would not be in a super sanitary
part of town. So my team went off this morning without their fearless leader.
And instead of getting to do, do, do LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, I have to stay back,
not do anything.
I began getting frustrated a few hours ago
because I’m not sick. I don’t need to be bed-ridden, but at the same time I
cannot clean the house, I cannot fold my clothes, I cannot even dress myself!
(It’s amazing how we don’t realize that bending our arm is a vital necessity to every day functioning). So. I’m perfectly well and perfectly useless.
So here I am. At home. Learning how to rest.
Which sounds ridiculous.
But, I am really, REALLY bad at it!
So this year looks like it’s going to be a time to learn how to be Mary. How to be in His presence and find joy, solace, and peace in Him.
….
pictures of the arm are soon to be coming, along with a video of the first draining of the arm. But again, the internet is a wee bit unstable here. So have patience!
Please pray for the DR. There’s a LOT of spiritual warfare going on here.
The culture is extremely sexual and animistic. The average boy here has his first sexual encounter at age EIGHT.
The cholera from Haiti has reached these parts, too! We are safely drinking purified water, but continue to pray for our teams!
