Want to hear something funny about God?
These past few weeks, I have been struggling with my faith. Not meaning that I haven't had faith, just that sometimes I don't have "complete faith" in God. I automatically try to take control of situations and make sense of stuff in my head: that's how I keep myself sane. So, I have been asking God to grow my faith. He has seemed so distant, almost like He doesn't care. (I know that isn't true, but I have been asking Him when He was going to make something happen).
My fundraising account has been held at a steady $1200-1500 the past 2 weeks. I've been trusting God to make that number jump, but He hasn't. This week, everytime I've looked at my account I've expected it to be higher. (it has been, but only by another $100 or so).
Last night, my account still showed $1525.19. I began freaking out. Like, true freak out. I fell on my knees and prayed. I sent a text message out to everyone in my contacts to pray. I put a message out on Facebook for people to pray. I wouldn't doubt that I had about 50 people praying for me and my account and the deadline at one point or another.
At about 11:00pm I was ending my freakout and began relying on 2 Cor 13:9 "For we rejoice when we ourselves are weak but you are strong; this we also pray for, that you be made complete."
God's power is made perfect in our weakness. I had reached my moment of absolute trust on Him. There is nothing more I can do. At this point, only He can make $2000 appear in my acct.
I've been holding up alright today. I've had this surprising peace that God will make this happen. I know God wants me to leave in September, I just have to trust He will make it happen.
Today, I have had SO MANY friends and family members call me to tell me they have $ to put into my account and that God was telling them to do so. My aunt called to tell me that she has the rest of what I need to make the deadline. PRAISE GOD!!!
Now I am not going to know specifics until later next week because of the updates, but I am pretty sure that by the end of the first week in July, God will have completely surpassed this deadline and that I will be close to my August deadline.
It has been encouraging to hear everyone's stories about how God has provided, but every time I would read it I would ask God, "when are You going to do that for me?!" Of course it would be the VERY last moment. God is just funny like that. I think He just needed me to realize that I had to get to that point to realize He had this under control the whole time.
Praise God! I will be able to go to training camp. 🙂
<3
