Whether you’ve been following me for the past few years or stumbled upon this blog today, you will come to see pretty quickly that I will do anything for God. At least, that’s what I tell myself and I’ve convinced myself to be true. I’ll smuggle Bibles into China, work in the bars of Thailand saving girls from the sex trade, plant churches and raise up leaders throughout South America, go to school for medicine and start my own non-profit to help people who have no medical care in the poorest places in the world. Anything God; I’ll do anything for you.
EXCEPT – I will NOT raise support to live as a missionary in the United States.
I’ve said it before and I meant it. The ONE thing I told God I would never do is work for an organization in the US where I would have to raise support. Welp, Adventures in Missions has offered me a position in their Passport/Ambassador Program. Basically I will be training leaders and supporting them while on the field from the office in Georgia. Did I mention that those programs are for students 14-22 years old? My dream age group to work with! I’ve always desired to work with young people and missions! Did I also mention that I would be able to pour into their leaders, come out to their debriefs, and be the one helping them get all God has for them and their teams? Basically, this is my dream job; minus the fact that I have to live in the US and raise support for half of my salary. That’s the catch.
Let’s just talk about this for a minute. Raising support SUCKS. Anyone who has ever done it will admit that it is the most humbling, unpleasant, and distressful things to have to do. I hate it. I hate asking for money. I hate it with a passion. I was raised with an extremely strong work ethic and I work hard at everything I do. It’s not a surprise to many that I have struggled with a “work for it/earn it” mentality in my relationship with Christ. I am not a bum. I have rarely had to ask anyone for money without paying them back pretty instantly. I have a hard time receiving gifts. Especially if it comes from someone who I don’t feel I deserve. Asking people to donate money to the passion God’s put on your heart could be the ONE thing that stops me from fulfilling it.
Now the question I am asking myself is this: What is fueling this decision – God or my pride?
We all know that God hates pride. (1 Peter 5:5) And the last thing I desire is to walk in something I know God dislikes so much. But still. How could God ask me to do something like this? This is a crazy request…God wouldn’t ask me to live in a constant state of faith, believing Him to bring in money miraculously for me each and every month. Or would He?
Let’s take a look at some of the crazy things Jesus asked of people. I was reading the story in Matthew 4 where Jesus calls the disciples. He literally walks up to them and says “Hey, drop your nets and follow me”. (That’s the Tiffany Blount Version). Now let me tell you, the disciples weren’t these broke as jokes, no hope of a future, lowlifes. Most of them had decent carriers and would be considered “middle class” in our day. They had families, full time jobs and I am sure hopes and dreams of their own. Then this guy comes up and is like “Hey, leave everything you know behind and come follow Me. I’m not going to tell you where we are headed, and I’m also not going to tell you that this decision will cost you your very lives.” THAT is crazy. I mean really, think about this. In our day and time, Jesus walks into my life and says “Hey Tiffany, leave your family, forget your dreams, abandon any sense of security for your future and follow me.” You what is crazier than Jesus saying “come”? THE next verse. It says, “IMMEDIATELY they left their nets and followed Him.” WHAT?! They didn’t even know this guy. They didn’t know what He was going to do with them or where He would take them. They didn’t know how they were going to eat, live or even make it. They didn’t bring their 401k’s and their savings they had stored up in a coffee can. Their mom didn’t make them some sandwiches for the road – NOTHING.
This scripture challenged me today in a way it never has before. I read that and I heard Jesus saying to me “come Tiffany”. I said, “No Jesus, I will do anything for you BUT I am not going to take a job where I have to raise support.” And then again He whispered to me, “Trust Me, Tiffany…follow me”. He’s crazy. He’s absolutely asking me to do something so ridiculous! Then I started thinking more about the disciples…why were they so much more on board with this concept than me? How did they have this instantaneous faith and trust in this man who was but a stranger to them? He isn’t a stranger to me. Oh snap, this is getting personal now. It’s like God was asking me, “Exactly, I am no stranger to you. I have provided everything you’ve ever needed. You’ve never done without, you’ve never been in lack and you’ve never gone hungry” Deep sigh. He’s right. He’s so big. I’ve seen Him work in miraculous ways in my past! I have witnessed miracles in every aspect – physical, emotional and even financial. Where did I lose the mindset that my God could do literally anything? That’s when I realized…I hadn’t lost the concept, I just had let my pride step in and draw the line in the sand where I wasn’t going to cross.
You see, I was raised by two of the most incredible people I’ve ever met. Two people who instilled in me from birth that my God could do anything, and that fulfilling His purpose for your life is all that matters. Two people that give more than they receive, love more than they get back, and believe – no matter what – that God is real. These two people are the reason I am who I am today, and the ones that constantly push me onward to keeping chasing after Him, even when in the natural it looks crazy. They’re the kind of people that when I told them about the job, their response wasn’t, “No honey, you need to come home and get a job, settle down and start making a life for yourself. You’ve got to have insurance, build up your savings and start preparing for your future.” (Which they would have been totally justified in saying.) You want to know what they said?
“GO FOR IT. Don’t worry about where the money will come from. God can do anything. Trust HIM. He’s bigger than you can imagine. He’s done it before, and He will do it again. He will provide for you. We believe in you and we are behind you.”
I am in tears writing this. What incredible parents. Oh, how great will be the reward for those two people when they get to heaven. I couldn’t do what I do without them and I wouldn’t trade them for anything.
The same little girl who used to think that God really could do ANYTHING is still in there. She still believes and is excited to sit back and watch how God blows her mind yet again.
Yesterday I opened my Bible randomly to shove some notes in there and it was opened to Jeremiah. I stopped and read the verse on the right side of the page. It read, “Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh. Is anything too hard for Me?” (Jeremiah 32:27) WHAT? God is so incredible and His word is alive! It’s relevant for whatever situation you’re facing. It was such a great reminder that nothing is too hard for our God. That brought me so much peace. God has this!
So I am not going to ask you for money, because I don’t need to. My God knows my needs before I ask (Matt 6:8) and He will provide everything I need (Phil 4:19) to start and continue this new journey.
I am going to ask you though, to continue to lift me up in prayer. You have been the most incredible support team over the past two years! I couldn’t have asked for better people to surround my life and get behind me. You will really never know how much you mean to me and how your constant prayer, encouragement and support has changed my life.
THANK you for that.
Following Him wholly is for sure costing me everything. Beginning with my pride and snowballing from there. It could even cost me my physical life one day, but it’s for sure costing me MY life today, but then again…it’s not my life. It’s HIS. I will not let my pride cheat me out of God’s destiny for my life cause I demand my own way. I’ll drop my net, God, and I will follow You.
