The cool weather is approaching for most of our loved ones back home. For my family, the leaves are beginning to change, the boys are building fires and mom is baking all kinds of goodies in the kitchen. The kids are taking hayrides through the apple orchard, drinking homemade cider and carving pumpkins. Autumn. Soon there will be homemade pumpkin pie in the fridge, a dozen of those delicious cinnamon apple donuts I love sitting on the counter and jackets hanging on the coat racks. Autumn. Mr. Beauchamp’s trees will be full of vibrant orange and red leaves, and the crisp air will limit the amount of time he can spend outside on his tractor. My dad will be taking the screen door off the front porch and replacing it with the glass one for winter. Hoodies, boots, scarves and beanies are the daily attire. Autumn. School is in full swing and children are counting down the days until Christmas. This is one of my favorite times of the entire year and oh how I miss it. The seasons begin to change and there’s cheerfulness in the air. Autumn.
This change of seasons isn’t limited to only the leaves or the weather; many are experiences these changes in their hearts and lives. Some chapters are just beginning with a new baby or ring on a finger. Some are closing with the loss of loved ones or employment. Some are slow and some are sudden. Either way, none of us can escape the seasons of life and how they change us. Obviously, my life is in a new season in general being on the race. But even within each month the seasons are changing. Recently, I have been in a season of prayer. My heart has been burdened with the cares of many loved ones back home. I’ve felt torn between being here on the race and wanting to be holding the hands of those back home who need me. There are many close to me who need a miracle that only God could give. Lives are on the line. I am thousands of miles away and I can feel the distance more now than ever. However, I realize that distance is only a feeling, not a reality. I am close in the hearts of the ones I love and they are close to mine. Being in a position where I am far away physically and unable to lend a helping hand has caused me to press deeper into my prayer life; which is honestly the best thing I could be doing. God knew I would be right where I am when these moments took place at home and there’s something for me to learn in this season. I CANNOT DO IT. Only God can bring the healing, salvation, peace, hope and love to those who are in need. I can’t fix their lives, as much as I desperately want to. My heart is burdened and broken for them, but in the natural I cannot make their pain go away.
The circumstances around me are rapidly changing and in most cases getting worse by the minute. I don’t understand it all, or really any of it. My mind has wondered, “Where are you God? Why are you not moving in these situations? If I were there, I would….” NOTHING. I CANNOT DO IT. At this point, I am completely and utterly reliant on Him and all that He is. He is moving me into a new level of trust. Trusting Him with the people I love, the most in the world, back home. I am learning that in quietness and trust more can be accomplished than in fretting, worrying or trying to accomplish things on my own. Releasing areas of my life or people in my life to God’s care is a scary thing. I have to honestly believe He will take care of them. Do I? Ouch. That was a tough question to even type. Do I believe that in my absence God will take care of it all? Even better, do I believe that by me being out of the way, He can move greater than if I was there striving to fix it in my own strength? Double ouch.
I am thankful that He walks with me each step of the way, teaching me to trust Him with what I love most. He infuses me with His strength moment by moment, whispering in my ear that He’s got it. These changes in season do not take Him by surprise. God wonderfully draws near to His people. God acts directly and personally with them. God is sorrowful over their pain and suffering. God is moved to compassion. God knows each heart, need and situation; He doesn’t need me to remind Him. He wants me to sit in peaceful trust and unwavering faith believing He is in control, His Word is true and He can handle it all.
