Most of us do not realize we are aging on a day to day basis. We just wake up and go about our routine unaware of the change that takes place in us each day. Occasionally something will happen that will make you ever so aware of your age. Such as: seeing an old friend, running into a child you used to babysit who is now in college, seeing you grandchildren grow, going up stairs, not being able to read the menu as clearly as before and so on. But there is a hidden sense in all of us I think that feels timeless or immortal. I know I sure did. I have always felt young, full of life and ready to take on the world at any given moment. Last month someone asked me what grade I was in! HA! Maybe I don't want to appear THAT young. Nonetheless, I haven't thought about getting older and don't feel as if I had – until today. Today was that day for me. It was a horrific moment this afternoon when I looked into the mirror and saw the most hideous, and appalling thing. There, to my shock and dismay, was a shiny, silverish-gray hair glistening in the mirror! I could feel my heart drop and my eyes widened. It was happening. It had already happened; I was aging. I could feel the "tear bubble" coming from my tummy into my throat. I thought to myself, "This is it Tiff, you are an old woman now". Moments passed as I just starred at it, hoping it was blonde, hoping it would go away, hoping I was imagining. The longer I hoped the more I realized this was no dream, more like a nightmare, and it wasn't going away. So I mustered up the guts to reach my hand up and rip out the little monster trying to crush my hopes and dreams of being forever young. As I held that silver hair in my hand, feeling ancient, I realized the painful truth that there was absolutely nothing I could do to keep more of them from coming up. Sure I can dye my hair and pretend I don't see them, but they are there now. They will return, and with friends. Isn't it funny how something so small and silly can bring reality to our minds so vividly? We aren't timeless immortals living forever on this earth. The Bible says we aren't even promised tomorrow. There are no guarantees on the length of lifetime any of us will live. It's funny how this gray hair, which I despise, brought such revelation to my thoughts today. Make today count. Make your life and the time you have here on earth count. Live a life as if you don't have a tomorrow. A life radically abandoned to Christ and fervently pursuing Him and His purpose in the earth. My hair will continue to gray, I will eventually cave and buy a box and there's nothing I can do about that. But I can ensure that my spirit doesn't turn gray. Get old and worn out. The only aging I want my spirit to do would be that the years would ever increase my dependence on my Father, my need for His presence every minute of every day. I pray that with my age will come less judgment and more love, less complaining and more praise, less blindness and more vision, less frustration and more grace, less planning and more leaps of faith, less talking and more listening, more patience and more compassion. But most of all, as I age, I pray I can learn to love Him perfectly as He has loved me.
