“Will you remember
me?”
me?”
This is a question that seems to float
around in my mind on a daily basis.
around in my mind on a daily basis.
Eight months into The World Race and I
barely remember myself from when I left. I have changed. I have been
changed. Maybe it is that I now
know who I am. Maybe it is now
that I know the I AM. (Thank you
Jonathan David Helser for officially becoming the soundtrack of most of my
thoughts about The Race.)
barely remember myself from when I left. I have changed. I have been
changed. Maybe it is that I now
know who I am. Maybe it is now
that I know the I AM. (Thank you
Jonathan David Helser for officially becoming the soundtrack of most of my
thoughts about The Race.)
I remember sitting on the plane on the way
to Los Angeles to begin a journey that has ultimately messed up my life. I think back to the day I left my mom
(a little more emotionally unstable then the others), dad and a few friends at
the airport kind of unsure what I was getting myself into. I remember thinking: “Is this really where I am suppose to be?” “Am I truly hearing from God?” Or
“Eleven months is a freaking long time!”
to Los Angeles to begin a journey that has ultimately messed up my life. I think back to the day I left my mom
(a little more emotionally unstable then the others), dad and a few friends at
the airport kind of unsure what I was getting myself into. I remember thinking: “Is this really where I am suppose to be?” “Am I truly hearing from God?” Or
“Eleven months is a freaking long time!”
I hope you read this if you are considering
The Race or even taking a risk on The Kingdom!
The Race or even taking a risk on The Kingdom!
Eight months have flown by and the last
three are going to go by even faster. I remember the moments of hesitation, I remember the questions of doubt
and I remember the faces I left. But I cannot remember who I was.
three are going to go by even faster. I remember the moments of hesitation, I remember the questions of doubt
and I remember the faces I left. But I cannot remember who I was.
Country after country and experience after
experience has come and gone. I
look forward to what everyday and every moment holds. My resume is going to be crazy when all this is said and
done. I am also going to be able
to write a ridiculous, unbelievable storybook after this chapter closes. Most people would flip out to consider
these statements. I thought I
would too! But the truth is it really does not matter to me. Do not get me wrong, I love my life and I love that every life altering
decision I have made has come from a difficult crossroads.
experience has come and gone. I
look forward to what everyday and every moment holds. My resume is going to be crazy when all this is said and
done. I am also going to be able
to write a ridiculous, unbelievable storybook after this chapter closes. Most people would flip out to consider
these statements. I thought I
would too! But the truth is it really does not matter to me. Do not get me wrong, I love my life and I love that every life altering
decision I have made has come from a difficult crossroads.
“Will you remember
me?”
me?”
It haunts me! Because everywhere I go, I look into the eyes of somebody
that asks me this question. My
life no longer matters to me. My
life has been redirected; I am jacked up!
that asks me this question. My
life no longer matters to me. My
life has been redirected; I am jacked up!
This month has really put this into
perspective for me. The other day
I held a three-year old girl, who was incredibly tiny for her age. Maybe she had Spina Bifida, maybe
another crippling disease, but that is besides the point. Being an Mzungu (white person) in
Africa is hard. But in this
moment, I was no different. I was
just a set of arms. I was a
comforter.
perspective for me. The other day
I held a three-year old girl, who was incredibly tiny for her age. Maybe she had Spina Bifida, maybe
another crippling disease, but that is besides the point. Being an Mzungu (white person) in
Africa is hard. But in this
moment, I was no different. I was
just a set of arms. I was a
comforter.
I held this girl in my arms and she would
gaze deep into my eyes and then she would try to poke them out. It was kind of frustrating at
first. But then something inside
of me started laughing. She was
seeing herself for most likely the first time in the reflection of my eyes. She was trying to touch herself.
gaze deep into my eyes and then she would try to poke them out. It was kind of frustrating at
first. But then something inside
of me started laughing. She was
seeing herself for most likely the first time in the reflection of my eyes. She was trying to touch herself.
It all came into perspective in that
moment. My journey was about
finding myself through the lenses of my own eyes, God’s vision and experiences,
but it also has become about reflecting what it is that I have seen. I have seen the Holy Spirit, I have
seen true joy, I have seen things that people would not think possible and I
have seen things people could not imagine would be true. But I have also listened. I have heard stories of kids who lost
their families, I heard of God providing in the worst situation, I have heard sobs and laughter and I have
heard the sounds that I believe will be us praising God in Heaven when we
finally get there.
moment. My journey was about
finding myself through the lenses of my own eyes, God’s vision and experiences,
but it also has become about reflecting what it is that I have seen. I have seen the Holy Spirit, I have
seen true joy, I have seen things that people would not think possible and I
have seen things people could not imagine would be true. But I have also listened. I have heard stories of kids who lost
their families, I heard of God providing in the worst situation, I have heard sobs and laughter and I have
heard the sounds that I believe will be us praising God in Heaven when we
finally get there.
I have had so many kids and adults look me
in the eyes and ask, “Will you remember me?”
in the eyes and ask, “Will you remember me?”
How can I forget! I may not think of them everyday, but I will never forget! I reflect the faces and eyes of every
person I have come in contact with. I am indebted forever for the experiences I have had, so I give back.
person I have come in contact with. I am indebted forever for the experiences I have had, so I give back.
I will not
forget!
forget!
I will never forget!
It is not always easy, but one thing is for
sure:
sure:
“It has been worth
it!”
it!”
Be a risk taker!
“Fear is our enemy because God uses risk
takers, people who don’t get it but our willing to take a leap to advance His
Kingdom!”
takers, people who don’t get it but our willing to take a leap to advance His
Kingdom!”
I don’t remember
who I was and I don’t want to!
who I was and I don’t want to!
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a
new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!”
new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!”
-2 Corinthians 5:17
