So my initial desire was to write a blog that appealed to people in hopes of making a last ditch effort to gain the support we need to remain on the trip. A desperate appeal to peoples hearts and desires to serve the Kingdom and keep us in the field doing something God has placed on our hearts. The more I consider that option, the more I realize I would be making this experience all about me and if I’ve learned anything over the past 6 months, its that this is not about me. It has truly been the highest honor and privilege to have had the opportunity to serve our God in the capacity he has allowed us. It is a blessing on our lives to leave the comforts of home and see as much of the world as we have. It is not a sacrifice by any measure to serve our Lord. It is not a sacrifice for the women on our squad to build relationships with the women of Thailand who work in prostitution. It is not a sacrifice for the men of O squad to pick up a pick axe and shovel and dig trenches to save a road for an orphanage full of young girls who have been rescued out of the sex trade. We are the lucky ones because God has put this calling on our lives. God has honored us and blessed us with the opportunity to serve. There’s no way I can look at the faces of the girls in the orphanage, seeing the amazing smiles and joy for life that they have, and ever believe that I am not the luckiest man in the world to be a part of their lives. For however long it may be.
One overriding theme I have come to realize is that children are children, no matter what part of the world they are from. I came to this realization before I came on the race, actually during my time as a soldier in Iraq. We ran across kids everywhere we went, some who just wanted to see us, the silly looking foreign soldiers. Other who wanted the candy we often brought to handout. Others just to play and receive attention. Please tell me where in the world children are not the same? I know that’s how I was when I was growing up. I’m sure most of you will see the same if you look back at your lives or look at your own children. Yes I know we are born into different situations. We are not all born into the same circumstances in life. Some people are born with a silver spoon in their mouths, while others have never seen a spoon in their lives, let alone silver. So I don’t believe we are all created the same or created equal. But what we all have is the opportunity to invite the Lord into our lives, and God is the great equalizer. He has turned shepards and cup bearers into kings. He can change the life of a child on the streets who has never known the love of parents. I think many of us realize this, we know God can do anything, for he is an unlimited God. What I think we often forget is that the Lord uses us in others lives. So much so, that we often are a means to an end to allow that child on the streets to know love and to know hope and to know grace. I hope that I have been able to provide this. I know some of these children have given love, hope and grace to me.
Sometimes my mind loses track of where its going and this is a blog where that is happening quite a bit. I’m thinking about Saturday night where we accompanied a few of the girls on our squad who were talking to women in the bars. I’m thinking about the woman who made my wife Casey a paper Mache rose and crane, simply because we sat down with her and talked with her, showed her love that had to ulterior motive. I’m thinking about the women we passed by in the red light district who reached out to us to grab us and grope us so that we would come to them and spend the night with them. I’m thinking about the girl who couldn’t have been older than 14 outside of one of the bars who I smiled at simply to be kind and acknowledge her, but she took it as an invitation of something else. I’m thinking about the 60 girls at the orphanage we are working at who are shy for only a few moments till you show them the smallest bit of attention, then they flock to you, desperate to be loved, to be shown attention, to play card games, to be chased around the room, to learn English, to just be noticed. I think about these things and many other things that have happened over the last 6 months and I ask myself, what sacrifice have I made? The answer I come to is that I haven’t made a sacrifice. The only true sacrifice that I can make is giving my life and everything that entails to God. Completely and fully submitting to his will for my life. If that means going home this month, than that is what I will do because its what the Lord expects of me. If it is to stay on the race and provide Casey and I with a miracle that finds us fully supported, then that is what I will do as well. I’m kinda hoping for the later. It looks like I still have a long ways to go when it comes to completely submitting to God’s will and dying to my own desires. After all, staying on this race would be a privilege and a blessing, one that I would truly feel honored to be able to continue with.
