If you have traveled anywhere for a long period of time you may have experience what I am going through at this point of the race. It is a terrible condition that plagues thousands maybe hundreds of thousands of people every year. It is something that you tell yourself that you are never going to be one of those people. It is that statistic that you try to avoid until one day you wake up and realize you are just another one among the many. Today I realized that I have become normal, not so much me because lets be honest I will always be that girl that is kind of “different”. But what I mean to say is my life has become normal. I’ve always heard of people going abroad and becoming desensitized to their surroundings. But I never thought that I could be one of those people. I am that person that turns on the faucet and is amazed at my access to instant water; the simplest things entertain me. Things like slamming my face into a memory foam pillow just to see the crazy outline and laughing at myself hysterically, then continuing to do that for 20 minutes.
But here I am starting my eighth month on the race and if someone asked me if my life was exciting I would probably agree verbally but in my heart I feel like everything is so normal. Finding out my bed feels like a cinder block is normal. Seeing a crippled starving man sitting in his own filth yelling at people is normal. The stench coming from the public bathroom is normal if not accepted. The sick feeling I get when I think about missing home is normal. Getting on a plane and traveling to another country is normal. The things that I once found exciting, disgusting, and heartbreaking are now normal. The biggest mistake that I make is considering these normal things boring. I have become desensitized to the sheer wonder that is every day life.
And then it hit me, I haven’t just done this with the every day things in my life, I had done this with God as well. Being on the race I have seen so many amazing things that I have never experienced before. I have had the opportunity to pray for people in 10 countries so far. I have seen people healed, set free from demons, and worship God in even the most horrific circumstances. But just like every other part of my life I have gotten used to God being that way, its become normal to me and the moment I put Him in that category I wrote Him off as boring.
God is anything but boring and his creation is just as boring as He is. I’ve prayed for God to do amazing things, for Him to do more, I have prayed for God to show up more time than I can count. I have realized that I have been praying wrong this whole time. God is here and I do not have to ask Him to do great things, He is already doing them. Instead I have begun praying for an awakening. An awakening of my heart and spirit to be sensitive to what He is already doing, for God to open up my eyes to the wonder that is all around me. What would our lives be like if we truly saw the world, If our eyes truly saw the wonder that is embedded in all of Gods creation. What if a passion was awakened that God truly deserves? What if we began living with true gratitude for Gods creation, in awe of even the smallest things He does for us? That is what I want. This is the type of life I want to lead. What about You? What part of your life have you let become normal that are truly incredible? What gift has God given you that have lost their luster?
I pray that you and me both can have an awakening in our spirits to see the incredible wonder that is all around us.
