To understand the story I am about to tell you we have to go back; back to a time in my life that I don’t often like to revisit. It was a time in my life that I was trapped, completely lost to my own desires, I never thought that I could make it out.
All of my life I had a dream, a desire to get out of America and make a difference. I yearned for something greater than myself, an opportunity to do something that would last after I was gone. From the age of 7 I told my family that I was going to go to Africa and kiss babies. That was the seed of a dream that would grow into something much greater.
But sometimes life has a way of making you forget your dreams, or rather we push them aside out of fear of failure. It was nearly five years ago; I can still vividly remember the day I want to share with you. There I sat on my back porch, the sun had just come up and everyone in the house was still in a stupor from the night before. I sat there alone but the loneliness inside was much greater. My clothes reeked of smoke and alcohol but I felt dirtier than my outside appearance revealed. “You are nothing” I heard repeated in my head over and over again. It was there that I broke down crying out in mourning for the little girl who had dreams of changing the world. I killed that little girl with every selfish decision that I made.
I grew up knowing who God was, I even heard Him speak into my life. He had placed the dream into me of going to Africa and working in an orphanage. But I chose my own way. I chose parties over church. I chose my own friends over my parents trust. Ever selfish decision I made pushed me further away from the dream God had put in me.
Where did I go wrong? At what point did I stop believing in myself and start believing in the lies that were being spoken to me? “You are too screwed up to help anyone.” “No one will listen to a mistake like you.” “You are too lost to ever find your way back.” These are just a few of the lies that I let the enemy embed into my spirit. I gave into the lie and instead of fighting it I invited it into my life as a dark friend. I lived my life believing in these lies for years.
Even after coming to Jesus the lies that I had become so close with found their way back in from time to time. But truth is always going to defeat the lies. The truth is that today I am tying this to you from a mountaintop in Africa. God found the 7 year old inside of me and reignited the dream He placed in me so long ago. This month I have been living in an orphanage and I am literally kissing babies on a daily basis.
Every day I wake up to a literal example of Gods redeeming power. He took a girl so lost and confused and redeemed the dreams He gave years ago. I wouldn’t be here without His love and grace. Because I am a broken person who has made countless mistakes, I choose my own desires over Him time and time again. I turned my back on Him more than once and spit in the face of someone who loves me so desperately. But His ways are so much higher than ours and today I can tell you that no dream is too far-gone.
God wants to redeem the dreams He placed inside of you. No matter how many times you have given up on them, He will never give up on you. So I want to ask you, what is the dream that God is speaking to you right now? The thing that you cant get out of your mind as I am talking to you? That dream is not too far-gone, go for it.
I told you I was in Africa kissing babies.
Nothing says quality time like teaching kids how to take selfies.
