He Knew….I Did Not

I
was sitting on my living room chair swirling around while talking on the phone
to one of my closest friends for the first time in 11 months. As I was sharing
about my homecoming, she reminded me of my biggest apprehension which was
hindering me from committing to the World Race (WR). But it ended
being the biggest blessing God gave me when I came back. Let me explain.

Two days before I had to let Adventure In Missions know if I was going on the WR, I
found out the chemo treatment my brother, Zach, had just gone through the last
3 months hadn’t eradicated the cancer as clearly as we hoped. I was waiting on
his results to confirm with the WR. I went to God with my internal
dilemma.

“But
what now?! God, of course I want to be here with Zach if there is not going to
be much more time, it wouldn’t be a burden at all, the WR can wait for the
following year. I don’t want to be overseas and miss precious time I could be
here with him.”

After
many tears, conversations, prayers, and with huge urging and support from Zach
to move forward with my plans, I decided by faith to go on the WR.

As
I was sharing with my friend about my homecoming, I told her how Zach and my
sister-in-love, Andrea, were waiting at home to surprise me when I arrived from
the airport. Not only that, but I was greeted by a little life who is forming in Andrea’s womb.I can’t express the joy I had when I saw them.

I
did not know what to expect when I left for the WR in what condition I would see
my brother when I returned. Not only is he doing well (still has cancer, but
not growing), but he is going to be a father after being told the chemo would
make him sterile. (check out his blog http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/zachschellhause if you want to read about an incredible miracle!).

Have
you ever been so confused, just not knowing the best thing to do? Have you ever
had to just take a step of faith and trust God would pull you through? Well, I
feel like this happens a lot, and here is just an example. But it is
in these times I must remember how He has in the past gone above and beyond my
expectations.

God
has kept my brother and not only that, but graciously given him a child. I
praise Him with tears of joy. No doubt in other times there will be tears of
grief. But in those tears of grief God will be just as faithful and
trustworthy. I desire for a heart of gratitude and praise in all that
happens what about you?

God
knows.He has always known. If we can truly grasp His unconditional love for us,
knowing that He knows what is next, we can rest in that comfort.