A friend just shared their parents are getting a divorce
I feel nothing
A few people’s loved one died this month and just asked for prayer
I feel nothing
Someone I care about deeply had a really hard month
I feel nothing
I see physical poverty
I feel nothing
The spiritual poverty is abundant right in front of my face
I feel nothing.
Why do I have absolutely not an ounce of compassion inside of me? I makes me sick, I feel gross.
Instantly it hit me. Because my eyes are on myself and not Jesus.
I have been so focused on how I can grow that I totally missed the opportunity to grow. I did not love my family and did not aid in their growth because I just wanted it for me. I was set on selfish desires instead of glorifying God.
Well here is the start to those two words I wrote about earlier; Humility and compassion.
I am tired.
It has been 5 months of on the go, five months of pouring out.
I lost my focus…
and because of that I could not love, I could not have compassion…
because all the love and compassion inside of me is completely from God.
When I am not getting that from God I become completely inward focused.
This month in the Philippines I was reading Revelation. I asked God to make the Word alive to me. But I was so focused on what I could get out of it that I missed the point of just worshiping God through it.
Despite my incredible lack of compassion and humility this month God still blessed me so much. Again, revealing His abundant grace to me.
Jesus was able to face the cross because of the joy set before him. Seriously…death for haters = His joy?
It is because His eyes were fixed on God. He died for God’s glory. He died to show us more of who God is and what He does.
God I need your compassion, humble me. I am so far from having it all together. I confess that I care more about myself than others. Please change me. Help me love them like you love them, serve them, want the best for them, want more for them than for myself. I want my heart to feel what You feel for them. And I will know that it is from you because I sure don’t have it in me.
Isaiah 64:4
For since the world began,
no ear has heard
and no eye has seen a God like you,
who works for those who wait for him!
Our God serves us! Now how humbling is that? The God who made you breathe, who doesn’t need you, who created out of nothing everything… serves us! Once again, God teaches by leading us by example. God I want to serve you by loving your people. I need your compassion and humility.
