I am fully funded! I am unbelievably grateful. Thank
you everyone who have so generously given to me! And to all you
anonymous givers out there, since I could not thank you personally, I am
expressing my deep gratitude for coming along side me and joining me in this
journey! It blows me away to have experienced the diverse and creative ways God
provided it all: from friends who are still in school that have tons to pay
still giving to me, people I don’t even know giving, friends and family who
have been supporting my family for years, and friends/ acquaintances who give with such a
joyful heart. What a testimony you all are to me!
I have had such mixed emotions about support raising over
the years. I have grown from dreading it to actually enjoying parts of it. I
realize that it is another big part of the mission trip that causes growth. God
has changed my view from making it seem like I am begging people for money to
having a chance to have people join God and me in an opportunity by which we
all can be blessed. This time I learned another good lesson.
I was praying for myself and some of my other friends that
have to raise support for a whole year for other organizations that they are
involved in. My prayer was that it would be a great trust/faith journey in
raising all the support that was needed. And of course God answered this in a
way that I did not expect. “For my thoughts are not your
thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,� declares
the Lord.“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways
higher than your ways and my thoughts than your
thoughts.� Isaiah 55:8-9
I saw how other people were raising support and all the time
and energy they were putting into it. Like spending hours every night calling
people, doing huge fundraisers and so on. This was amazing and I loved their
dedication. But for some reason I did not feel peace about doing these things.
I thought to myself; is it because I am lazy, or that I don’t want to make an
awkward phone call? I realized that I was comparing myself to others and this
needed to stop, but it didn’t stop me from feeling guilty here and there that I
was not “doing enough� (Gosh, as you all have seen from my past blogs I have often
struggled with this burden that I need to “do more�…God is soooo patient with
me! I will have to share a picture God gave me this summer about this in
another blog) Because of other priority commitments to relationships, school work
and ministry I had to make peace with reality about how much I could “do� to
raise support. God stepped into my limitations, made a way through prayer and
support letters, and provided in abundance.
When I was praying at the beginning about this journey, I
had the false idea that it was going to have to be hard…that way my faith would
grow. But God chose a different way this
time to increase my faith in His provision.
He demonstrated His loving kindness and grace to me in a new way. It was
a huge desire that I would be fully funded before I left. But this is the same desire
of my teammates…why aren’t they? It is certainly not that I am more deserving,
loved more, or so on. I realize it is because God has a unique story for us all
and He knows what is going to grow us. I struggle with a tendency to think I
have to work super hard to achieve or get anything done. This is exhausting and
not always true! Not of my own doing but completely from God! What a concept: God has made support raising joyous! I don’t
always have to suffer to learn something! 🙂
Why did I think this before? Do I not believe that God is a
gracious and compassionate God? Is it my pride that is hindering me? I have to
earn it instead of opening up my hands for a gift He has freely given to me?
Why do I continue to strive? He has already done the impossible to make it
possible to be with Him!
Thankful.
