Have you ever asked yourself, “what’s next?” It’s a pretty loaded question. Firstly, we are incapable of knowing what is coming next. Secondly, would it even be a good thing for us to know what’s coming next? Thirdly, the question itself implies that wherever we are now or whatever we’re consumed by at this point in our lives is perhaps, not enough. It doesn’t feel sufficient and so we’re preparing for something else, something more. Many of you, I’m sure, have felt the implications of this question before. I also have. Although surrounded by loved ones, wrapped in the comfort of a familiar workplace and a familiar city, and blessed with a stable job that I enjoy, I did not feel “settled”. The reason: “The World Race”.
I first found out about the World Race about a year and a half ago, from a dear friend who knew someone else, who knew someone else who was a Racer. The idea intrigued me because traveling to11 countries sounded awesome and if I got to do it while at the same time serving the needy and broken I couldn't really imagine a better use of my time and efforts. Of course, I wasn’t prepared at that time spiritually, financially, or mentally and so the idea just cozied down into the back of my mind. As I went through my first year of teaching, worked towards paying off college debts, and got re-accustomed to living among family and my “old life”, the idea stayed pretty quiet, but never failed to give me a jab every now and then to remind me it was there waiting for me to do something about it.
After my first year of teaching, I knew I’d have to decide if I should apply to the Race, and I failed to act. I had already gotten used to the easiness of my stable life. I was comfortable in my job and had, true to my character, become a workaholic engrossed in being the best teacher I could be and deceived into thinking that is where my new identify was found. The disappointment of knowing I’d missed my chance at the race for another year cut deep into me. Work felt less stressful, and life felt more comfortable, but the feeling that I was ignoring something great plagued me more and more. I was closing doors and making excuses while God was pulling harder and harder at my heart telling me his good plans for me weren’t over. The blessings I had always acknowledged throughout college of being able to travel and grow more than I had ever dreamed had become to me, a short-lived period of joy that I then had to give up to start living like a responsible adult who fit into the box of the American dream: nice home, nice family, nice job, good money. Over the last few months I have begun to realize that God does not desire me to fit that mold-at least not at this point in my life.
Upon visiting a friend’s church in October, I was reminded of the greatness of God’s love for me. We watched a emotionally-moving video of God preparing breakfast for the viewer (me and the rest of the audience) as a "welcome home" gesture. As the video took us through the house and towards the breakfast table, we saw love letter after love letter from our heavenly Father expressing His great love for us. After the video ended, the message went on to ask questions like “How good are you at receiving gifts from others?”, and “How accepting are you of others’ help and love?” I found myself rating both answers low on the scale. Independence and a deep fear of being a burden has always made me hesitate to rely on others. But how does God feel when I reject His love and His gifts for me? Does He not desire good for me and want to provide me with blessing upon blessing?
Several months went by, until one Sunday morning, the realization that this opportunity of the World Race was the “good thing” that God desired for me then became so clear to me. I was praying as I got ready for church that God would make His will clear to me and He did. I had been making excuses, showing so much doubt, and had been scared out of my mind amidst all of my confusion about whether to participate in this journey or not. But if God has given me a love for travel, if He’s given me the spiritual gift of compassion towards people from other cultures, if He’s instilled this deep longing for a chance to serve others and be a witness and fill every moment dwelling upon Him, why should I be confused? Why should I turn down this blessing? God desires good for me, and the World Race is His will for me now.
At church that Sunday morning, we talked about the idols of our lives. What gets in the way of us centering our lives on God? My answers, when I thought honestly about them, revealed a big need for giving up the things I had prioritized before God. These things are hard to give up, but as I have learned to begin handing over my desire to control them, God has already begun showing me how much better it is to keep Him first. The Lord will provide for me in the years to come and so there is no reason to cling to earthly desires that will fail me. I can think of no better way to grow in Christ then to spend a year in total reliance in His provision as I learn to serve others in His name. The world is in need of more active hands and feet in the body of Christ. I committed to this journey not because I am any more able or equipped than anyone else, but because I am willing.
This journey is more than a missions trip. It’s more than a cool vacation and another opportunity for me to travel. It’s even more than a fulfillment of my passion for diverse cultures and the compassion God has given me towards people from those cultures. It’s a leap of faith based upon the very real fact that God loves me and desires good for me. He wants to be the center of my life, and it is His wish to use me to show that same great love and desire to other people around the world that he still wants to start a relationship with. And that is why I’ve chosen this journey, or should I say, that God has made clear He has chosen it for me.
Below is the sermon I saw that reminded me of God's love, and later made me realize that opening doors for me to participate on the World Race was a demonstration of His love that He wanted me to accept. I encourage you to watch it and be reminded, or perhaps told for the very first time, of God's great love for you. The welcome home video starts just after 12 minutes into the sermon if that is the part you would like to see.
http://www.crossroads.net/my/media/playVideo.php?idMedia=1974
