Organized.
I really like being organized. When things are not organized and planned and mapped out I feel like I'm in a constant state of frenzy…..this is in no way comfortable. I'm sure most of you can relate, especially you fellow women, to the jumbled mess of chaos brought on by feeling this way. By feeling like you have no control.
The minute I was accepted into the world race I began planning. Planning the list of who I would send letters to, planning the date I would be finished, planning what fundraisers I would do each month, planning, planning, planning. Well, it just so happens that my plans do not always work out the way I envision them to…go figure…and sometimes God has other ideas instead. 🙂
Like, for instance, the fact that I was going to have all of my letters completed, signed, sealed and out the door last weekend. This week I was going to have announced my yard sale, picked a location, picked a date, and have items piling up to sell. I was going to have had all the conversations I needed to with all my family and friends. Then I started thinking about the magnitude of what I was doing and what I had to raise. I started questioning my ability to do this. Wait, I have to raise what?! How will I do this? How have I been so calm? ……..Well…it is Friday of the following week and I am just making my way to the post office. (Sigh) So much for being ahead of the game.
I found myself deciding to ignore thinking all together as work got increasingly crazy, and day after day slipped by where I just didn't seem to have the time to do all that I wanted to do. This wasn't the plan…the plan was to be ahead of the game….not fall behind. I found myself scrambling to get things done at the office, staying late, and cramming in what little time left I had at the end of each day to finish my letters. By the time I pounded out another set of 30, my eyes would be fighting to stay open. I found myself falling out of the peace God had given me about this whole thing. I found my soul becoming weary….and last night it dawned on me. When was the last time I spent time with Him? …..of course. It had been several days. At the beginning of this process all my free time was spent with God, praying about this whole thing and receiving confirmation. And now, because of the hustle and bustle of making sure I got things done, my time with Him went to the wayside. I had to ask myself, Is it really so important to stay on schedule that you sacrifice your much needed daily bread to get it done? The answer, of course, is no. God is #1. He is the most important thing. He comes before all. Even preparing for His call. He is the reason for all of this and He wants to help me.
Okay, so what IF I have to cancel my proposed plan and scheduled date for my yard sale? There is always the next week, or the next. Again, I need to remind myself. Let Go, Let God. He's got this. He's in control….you don't need to be. He knows best, and wants what's best for you. Walk WITH Him.
The thing is, this has nothing to do with my ability to raise the funds, and my ability to get things done. I was forgetting why I was so calm. I was forgetting that the reason I had so much peace about the whole thing was because it had nothing to do with my ability. It's about God, and his promises, and having faith that he is going to see me through. And no matter what time I get things done, no matter what schedule I follow or don't follow, He will.
His comfort for me today came up as the verse of the day on my iPhone Bible app:
"Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6
Yep. I needed that. 🙂 Peace.
