For this post thought I would just share directly what I wrote in my journal:
May16th, 2014
Going to the CarePoints everyday is honestly becoming mundane. Somehow I’m finding it really difficult to find joy. I really had to check my attitude before walking into the classroom. I had to call James over and told him we needed to say a prayer for the both of us because I could tell he was also struggling with not wanting to be there today. At lunch I nursed a little baby to sleep. After giving her back to her sister, I realized that hour the baby was with me was probably the only time her sister had to be a kid. At such a young age she has the responsibility of taking care of another child. She couldn’t have been more than 7 years old! That really touched my heart. Here I am complaining. Daddy, I’m sorry for my selfishness. It’s really not about me at all. Please help me to continue to die to myself daily, pick up the cross, follow you and strive to be a reflection of JESUS!
After class today, Wonderboy, Sukky and Senanelo walked me to the bus stop said their goodbyes then from a distance waited until a bus came to pick me up. I tried to get them to go home but they were not budging. I’m sure they waited for at least 20 minutes in the sun because that’s how long it took for a khumbe to come. Those little nuggets are so precious and continue to surprise me in the little ways they express their love. At such a young age it is instilled in boys to want to take care of women. When we women do not allow men to do so, we are stripping away men’s identity and potentially emasculating them. A great lesson for me! I have to continue to be okay with allowing the men in my life to serve me. And be sure to thank them and appreciate them for all that they do. Being independent is great but allowing men to be who God has created them to be is even better. Receive love. Did a 4-year olds just teach me that?
With Love,
