So I went to bed last night with a really heavy heart… I was hit with the realization that I just made a decision to leave my very, very comfortable job at a top investment baking firm to go around the world helping people in need and talking to them about Jesus and sharing his love. I just made a decision to leave everything I currently have going on. I just made a decision to put myself in uncomfortable situations, to not sleep on my oh so expensive mattress for the next 11 months; to not be so concerned about what I'm wearing, how I look, posts outfits of the day, or be concerned with any other materialistic things. I just made a decision to open myself and be vulnerable doing life with a group of 5 complete strangers, who probably also have some sort of crazy in them to make a decision to participate in this trip. As adventurous as I may appear, I feel so unqualified and unprepared for a trip of this magnitude! Did I really just make a decision to do the World Race? …..Yes, I went to bed late with a heavy heart.
Woke up very late and considered skipping my devotion. But then I recalled making a commitment earlier in the week to be like Jesus in (Mark 1:25) and not skip 1:1 time with my Father. Reluctantly I sang and started my devotion. I'm following a plan called the Uncommon Life Daily Challenge by Tony Dungy on The Bible app. The verses for today were:
Joshua 1: 6,7,9 Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their ancestors to give them. “Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
I bawled. Yes, to the surprise of many, I cry…rarely. I let out all my frustrations, fears, and doubts to him about this trip and God just started speaking to be then an there. I told him I'm too much of a princess for this trip, I don't know how to pitch a tent. I can't live with my entire life for 11 months in a backpack. He tells me yes you're a princess but you're a Warrior Princess. I said "huh?" please break that down. He reminds me that I'm so much stronger than I think and that his strength is made perfect in my weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). He says He is with me where ever I go, in the slums, in the villages – He will be with me! It was such an encouraging experience and definitely worth being late to work!
At work this morning, I was welcomed with a very unexpected phone call from a senior manger about a great job opportunity with my firm in NYC. A month ago, I would be jumping with excitement but I just thought…that's not what God is asking me to do. I kindly had to turn it down. I'm committed to the World Race. I'm committed to making a difference. I'm committed to God. I am all in! I AM A WARRIOR PRINCESS!
With Love,
