This month isn’t exactly how I thought it would be, we came to the Philippines thinking the squad would be separated, but lo and behold, it’s another all squad month!
YAY!
Not.
My stress level has been through the roof being altogether with the squad and my anxiety has been present and constant. I was convinced that I was just going to have to suffer through the months, it’s almost been a week into the month and I have yet to crack a smile, I swear.
With anxiety it can control your thoughts, your mood and your motivation. I was letting my anxiety win.
Until tonight.
I was walking through a mall, trying to locate the nearest Starbucks on our off day, when I turned to my squad-mates, Nicole and Tabitha, and said “I really miss dancing like a fool at the bars, not the drinking part, but just dancing like a fool.”
We continued our walk through the mall, got Dairy Queen, Pizza Hut and Starbucks, an American girl’s dream! My stomach was full but my heart was still heavy.
After being at the mall for two hours, we heard music and realized that there was a Zumba dance class going on in the middle of the mall. We ran down the stairs and even pushed through some high school students just to get there.
It was 50 pesos. No way were we going to pay 50 pesos.
“It’s a dollar” Nicole said, glancing at me sideways.
So we did the logical thing and we each pulled out 50 pesos and danced like fools for a whole two hours. More people from the squad joined us and we even got called up onto the stage.
Seriously, if you ever want to feel famous go to the Philippines. I had so many photos of me taken tonight, but I didn’t care because my heart was happy.
I haven’t smiled or laughed that much since coming to the Philippines. And it was an amazing, really cheesy way for God to show me He is still listening.
My anxiety may bring me down, may make me worry, may make me doubt and may add stress to all squad times but that doesn’t mean God isn’t listening.
He’s listening to all your thoughts and requests.
And He will sometimes show you through a random Zumba class in the middle of a Filipino mall.
