Epiloge: I was having a hard time coming up with a title for this, so it’s like half a kids joke… but just half.
Blog:
Over three years ago I doubt you would recognize me. My weekends revolved around the greatest parties and my weeks were me just scrapping by to get good grades (I thought a 2.5 was good).
Three years ago I wasn’t living for Christ, three years ago I still despised Him.
That moment three years ago when I officially decided to give Christ another shot, I never stopped moving. I started working at a Christian summer camp as a counselor, that first summer I accepted Christ into my heart again along with five of my campers. As soon as I got back to school I joined a church and started teaching Sunday school. My heart was on fire for the Lord, and my convictions started rising. My weekends became about church and not about the greatest party. I learned how to put down the alcohol, how to say no to guys and how to say yes to Christ.
Three years later I was accepted to do the World Race.
Someone close to me said it perfectly, “Well God is stretching you and growing you. Go back to middle school and all those growing pains because you were growing so fast…it hurts and is uncomfortable when it happens so fast.”
24 hours ago I realized that when I said “I’m fine” I was lying. And I got called out for it. (Thank you ETC, even though I cried)
Getting to know Christ again, hasn’t always been fun, and it hasn’t been easy. I’ve been stretched so thin that I’m surprised I haven’t broken before.
But here’s the thing, God loves you and me enough to break us so he can remake us. I still dislike being vulnerable, I’m still uncomfortable with praying out loud, it still makes me anxious to share my testimony, but I am here.
I’m seeking Christ harder then I’ve done before, and it’s okay that it’s a little uncomfortable and broken along the way.
I’m not fine, I’m uncomfortable, I feel like I want to go home, and I’ve cried a lot from being on the World Race. For all future racers, people coming back to their faith or just learning about Christ, I’m telling you from a broken place that it’s okay to be broken. It’s terrifying to be here to be completely honest, but I’m positive I and you will receive so many great things.
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.” Matthew 7:7-8
Lord, I’m knocking on your door.
