Every day going into town, I walk past the same run-down house, and wonder what the story of this house is. Graffiti decorates the sides, the largest of which screams PUNK’S NOT DEAD in faded black lettering. I become more fascinated by how broken down it is, yet I find it to be so beautiful.
In Serbia, everything moves slower. Time doesn’t seem to mean much here. No one ever seems to be in a rush; they always have time for at least four cups of tea during the day and I have yet to see a schedule of any kind. Which is the opposite of my life back in the United States – I felt like I always had to be doing something, and if I didn’t work 40+ hours during the week, it wouldn’t feel right. It left me about no time to think. So as you can imagine, my brain runs wild here in Serbia.
The question my mind keeps coming back to is something we discussed at training camp: What does God love about you?
I’m serious when I say my mind has been coming up blank in response to this question. Why couldn’t I figure out what God loves about me? The answer? Well, because I didn’t love myself. So I took some steps into finding out why. First, I know I hear God most through others, so I prayed about it and felt as though I needed to ask people close to me to describe me using one word, just one.
Brazen
Loving
Brave
Hard-working
Frolicsome
Light-hearted
Sacrificial
Compassionate
Those words describe me?! I know, I couldn’t believe it at first myself. I then thought about how my past has shaped me into these words. My story has some dark parts, some joyful parts, and really painful parts; but I started to love myself when I dared to love my story. For God can be glorified through it. For He has shaped and changed my life and made me new. I’m not ashamed of my past, it’s made me those words listed above. If my story impacts just one persons life, I will be satisfied, and God will be satisfied – for I know He wants me to share.
So, in a way, I relate to that broken down house I walk past every day here – for there is beauty that can be found in brokenness.
