At the end of the day it’s all for the glory of God. No matter what it’s all about the glory of God.
Lately with everything going on I have been distracted and not wanting to turn to God. Things at home are not good. My grandpa is dying. Wouldn’t you think that you would turn to more prayer? Well I sure didn’t. I was mad. I still am a little bit mad but I understand now. I understand that the Lord has saved his life 3 times now. Cancer. Every time the Lord has saved his life. He has given him grace. God has kept my grandpa around. But now it’s time for him to be an angel in heaven with our Father. Although this breaks my heart every minute I think about it, I wasn’t giving God glory for all those times he saved him. Over and over again. All I could focus on was the fact that God was going to take him away from me. My grandpa is one of closet family members. I can’t imagine my life without him. But soon I will be doing life without him.
Throughout all of this I have been loosing myself. I haven’t been focused on the Lord. I was focused on myself. So selfish of me. Yes everyone needs to focus on themselves sometimes but you aren’t supposed to turn away from the Lord that’s exactly what I did. Out of all my life, I never thought while being on this trip I would turn away from the Lord. He has never turned away from me so why was it so easy for me to turn away from him? I was so oblivious to what he was still providing for me. He provided me a plane ticket home to see my grandpa to say goodbye. He provided safety for me while I was traveling and while I was home. He has provided health for the rest of my family. He has given them happiness, pure joy. He gave me a new team. Who I couldn’t love more. He gave me my two best friends to be on my team. He’s given us ministry that couldn’t be better. He’s given us a loving family to live with. Where they tell us we are their children. That we are family to them. He brought my mom to Nicaragua to spend time with me and do ministry with me. He has given me a vision for my future. He has given me hope for my life. He has given me discernment. Most importantly he continues to give me life everyday. The Lord can take us at anytime and he has continuously given me life even when my head was turned and I was angry. I think it’s natural for us to get angry and even turn our faces away from God and forget our life’s blessings he has given us. I am so thankful for the life he has given my grandfather and have let go of my anger. I hold onto my sadness but I have to be happy for him. He gets to be with the most high. There’s nothing better than being with JESUS.
What will you do next time you turn away from Jesus… Will you remember the life he gives you everyday?
