While I was in Thailand a couple of weeks ago, I would listen to this song every day called “Mindful” by Towr’s. The ending lyrics read “who are we that you are mindful of us, guess that’s the part we just have to try and trust.”
The simplicity of these words stuck with me. I could probably even say they changed me. In this season of waiting, I have learned that out God is so gracious to us. I’ve been here waiting for a job, waiting for financial support for my mission trip, waiting for school to be done, waiting for friends to come home, waiting for a life different than the one I’m living here. And though I believe God has put me here in this moment for a specific reason, I still believe he hears my cries. He hears my hearts deepest desires, my request for the future, my longing for a job, for friendship, for graduation. He knows my heart and sees my passion for his people.
Sometimes I find myself upset because I feel like he’s not listening- or that he is listening and just hasn’t gotten around to answering me yet. Though that seems silly to write it’s how I’ve been thinking- and that isn’t farther from the truth. Our God is mighty, and at the same time intentional with every single request we make. He is mindful of our hearts and somewhere beyond ourselves he is painting a picture we cannot see- one that will be greater than our own requests and more majestic than anything we could have thought of in the first place.
I picture God looking at me and almost laughing at how worried I am that my requests are too much to ask. Who am I to think of God as anything smaller than, well, God. He separates the water from the sand, the light from the dark, the sky from the earth, and here I am sitting in tears over the fact that I can’t get a job and $10,000 is stopping me from following his will for me. But I know that he has aligned my heart with his and this is his will for me, so who am I to think he won’t fulfill his promise.
While I was laying in my hammock the other day I heard him whisper to me “though the direction of the wind will change, my promises to you remain faithful.”
This year so far has been a whirlwind, pointing me in so many misleading directions, yet God continues to lift me out safely on solid ground- facing the way of faithfulness. I hear him speak to me, even writing this I’m noticing just how much God has been trying to get my attention and telling me breathe in his promise. So now as I sit here I pray fervently for a breakthrough to occur where heaven meets earth and the Lord blinks his eye and all of a sudden his provisions begin to flood in. Because that’s all it is to him- a blink of an eye. Our small little hearts can’t see beyond ourselves, and though I wish I knew his plans I know it’s better I don’t because it would Probably scare me away. This is the part I just have to try and trust, that when that canvas tears between heaven and earth, The Lord’s light will shine down a greater story than one I could every think of myself.
