Today I was going through “my old life”~ all my stuff from when I lived in Oklahoma. It brought back a lot of memories, and a lot of bitterness to be honest. Bitterness about how things ended there, about my time there. I was annoyed by my own bitterness, and the feelings I’ve had. Since i moved back home from Oklahoma, i’ve been having a lot of mixed emotions about my time there.
So in middle of me going through all my old stuff and having all these mixed emotions about everything, I found a bunch of my old journals and I was reading through them. Honestly I was just becoming more annoyed. More annoyed by how people, I once called family, could not want to support my trip or even care about it. It was really bothering me.
Then I stumbled across these notes from the second year of my internship, from our intern retreat. This was 3 years ago, I was at a point where I wanted to quit because it was hard and I thought I was wasting my time because I didn’t know what I was doing with my life and my internship was almost over. This was just what I needed 3 years ago to finish my internship strong.
Im a big believer in how you end one season is how you start the next. So finish strong, start strong. And that may have been 3 years ago but reading through those notes it was like God was speaking to me all over again and its what I needed for this next season I’m about to step into.
My notes read:
The called: Many are called few are chosen. (meaning everyone is called by God, but you will choose if you let God use you or not.)
Acts 20:22-24 “And now I am bound by the Spirit to go to Jerusalem. I don’t know what awaits me, 23) except that the Holy Spirit tells me in city after city that jail and suffering lie ahead. 24) But my life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus—the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God.
Also from my notes 3 years ago
10 thing about your calling:
1. A calling demands our surrender
-Only you and God can understand your calling fully, and if you surrender to your calling your calling will never surrender to anything else.
2. A calling will compel you beyond your comfort zone
-World changers aren’t living in their comfort zone (at the time I didn’t realize this was going to be literal)
3. A calling is irrational to others
-No one can comprehend your call like you can
4. Your calling looks unbearable
-Things look impossible but are completely possible with christ, Paul’s call looked unbearable but he pressed in.
5. A calling seems incredibly unfair at times
-There will be times when you feel like people have it easier than you, don’t get caught up in whats fair and what isn’t
6. A calling will make room for Gods equipping
-God is faithful to give us what we need
7. A calling will take you places you’ve never been and to do things you’ve never done
-It may look like it will never happen but then the next minute it happens, it happens when you least expect it. (also didn’t realize how true this on was at the time either)
8. A calling must be pursued
-You need to make you calling apart of you, so even if you don’t want it, its still there stuck to you
9. A calling is a life time journey not just a season
-If you live for the spotlight you’ll crash when you aren’t in it, you need to establish Gods calling in your life.
10. A calling unfulfilled will mean a life time of regrets
-Dont let anything shipwreck your calling, the best is still ahead of you
So many of these points hit me right in the face, and I know 3 years ago I didn’t realize how true these were going to be to my life now.
People may not understand my calling or what I’m about to do for the next year of my life, but thats okay. It’s crazy how God can use things from years ago that you don’t even think are relevant anymore. I thought what he was telling was to finish my internship strong and to live on mission after my internship, I didn’t realize what God was planting in me and it took 3 years for His plan to play itself out.
And living “The Calling” is a life long commitment, not just a one time thing. Its crazy how God is in it for the long term and not just the short term.
-TaylorB
I am still about $4000 from being fully funded for this journey. Please prayerfully consider joining my support team and help send me out. Send me to be the change you want to see in the world, send me to bring hope to the hopeless, send me to bring light to the dark places of the world, send me to answer Gods calling. click the donate tab above and join my team!! Thank you so much in advance, and thank you to all my current support team.
