As I helped Mama Rita prepare freshly made red pepper pasta
sauce I started to think about refinement. The process went from washing red peppers to an amazing
looking sauce, but the in between is what caught my attention. We cut them, seeded them, rinsed them,
crushed and puréed them. The
process in its entirety took a couple of hours…a lot longer than I had
expected, but at the end it was all worth it!
The peppers began whole, however were covered in dirt and a
few burses here and there. This
reminded me of where I began 9 months ago. I knew I didn’t have it all together, but didn’t think I was
a complete mess. I thought this 11
month journey would be more of a sharpening and refining process, but rather it
turns out to be more of a complete destruction of the old Taryn and a remaking
of the new Taryn. About 9 months
ago I thought the biggest bruise and specs of dirt I had on me was some
authority issues. I was off to a
great start. I began to face the bruises at training camp with thoughts like,
“this shouldn’t be to hard.”
Instead of refinement taking place between month one and
now, it’s clear that the cutting, seeding, rinsing and crushing period has been
in full effect. When I cut the
peppers open I was surprised to see more bruises, some worms and many tasteless
and unappetizing other parts. It
was now time to get dirty, dig in and clean out the junk and prepare the pepper
for the end result. This year has
displayed just that. As I was
forced to cut myself open I found sludge of comparison, lack of communication,
pride and control, to say a few.
These things once made up a big portion of who Taryn was, but not
anymore. I’m learning to live as God sees me, not as I once saw myself or how
the world had influenced and shaped me.
Don’t get me wrong, these strongholds still try to fight their way back
in, but by the strength and grace of God and amazing people at my side, it’s a
lot harder these days. The bible
says, “Resist the devil and he will flee from you.” We can’t ask for the devil go away forever, but we can resist
his crap with the strength and authority God gives us!
I have had to dig in, get dirty and clean out a lot of junk
in my life…a process that I will continue to do for a lifetime, but its all worth
it. Just as the sauce turned out
to be sweet, vibrant and delicious, the new Taryn is made new, purified and a
bit more vibrant as well. I know I
have many more seasons of seeding, rinsing and crushing ahead of me, but I know
that if it’s done God’s way, I’ll always come out looking a little sharper and
refined than before.
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Random Pics from this month!
Next town over, Bistrita
Mama Rita and us girls. We are staying at her house.
Our shower, yes we have to get a bucket and stand behind the curtain. Not to mention two feet away is where everyone is always hanging out….awkward!!!!!
Our street.
Women’s night at church
The little boy that was herding his sheep by the lake we go to everyday.
