The last few days I have been in a state of waiting and praying, in what has seemed like the longest couple of days of my life. You see about 10 days ago Josh and I found out that we were PREGNANT. It was Easter Sunday and we woke up early and took a pregnancy test and immediately there were two lines. We were overjoyed and at the same time flooded with a mix of emotions so we decided to walk into town and sit on one of the park benches in the square. We watched as dad’s pushed their little ones in strollers, and moms chased after their children and families walked the streets arm in arm. Josh and I just looked at each other and smiled as tears filled our eyes. We both laid our hands on my belly and prayed for our little one.
Over the next week we kept the secret to ourselves, spending countless hours praying for our baby. During this time God began giving us a new revelation of his love for us. Josh and I were already so radically in love with this little unformed baby that was no bigger than a pea. Our thoughts were constantly filled with hope and love for our baby. We read Psalm 139 and were flooded with emotion as it spoke to us in a deeper way this time, because as God was giving us a supernatural love for our baby, he was reminding us that no matter how much love we think we are pouring out to this little gift that he loves our baby even more, and he loves us more. It gave me a new perspective on the depths of God’s love for us, because honestly I can’t fathom anyone loving this unborn being more than Josh and I. I was once again reminded that God’s love is beyond human understanding and his love is deeper, wider, longer and higher than I can ever imagine and vaster than the sky.
THEN IT HAPPENED…. I started bleeding and I thought I miscarried. I ran into our room and fell hysterically into Josh’s arms as we held each other and wept over our child. We were so sad and overwhelmed with heartache. I could not even speak without weeping and eventually decided we needed to go to the doctor to find out what was going on. So we went to the Emergency Room, not because I was in dire danger, but because it is free here in Romania and it was the weekend. After the examination we soon learned that I had a twin pregnancy as well as a huge blood clot. The doctor told us that it was too early to tell exactly, but that there was a huge chance that one baby could absorb the other. He shared that both babies might not make it and that I would have to come back in 10 days when the babies are further along. He said you could have zero, one, or two babies, depending on what happens in the next 10 days.
SO I AM WAITING. It has been 3 days now. And, we have 7 more to go. We are praying all the time for God’s will. We want both babies to survive, but more than that we want God’s will and we know that he is so GOOD and we know he wants what is best for us. So we pray and we wait. Our trust is completely in the Lord and we can’t wait to let everyone know the outcome.
“YOU GIVE AND TAKE AWAY. YOU GIVE AND TAKE AWAY. MY HEART WILL CHOOSE TO SAY, LORD BLESSED BE YOUR NAME.”
