I can’t express how hard this last month has been for me. I had my mind set on going to training camp in May and leaving for the race in July. When it got closer to the first deadline I began to get extremely stressed. I couldn’t picture myself leaving at a later date, and I decided that I wouldn’t accept leaving at a later date. That last week when the first payment was due I was doing everything in my power to get money, but I still didn’t reach what I needed. The moment that I finally accepted that I wouldn’t be leaving in July my heart felt like I had a boyfriend who just broke up with me. WHY ME? I was confused because it felt like God had forsaken me, but His word said that He would never leave me nor forsake me. In that moment I couldn’t muster up enough faith to believe those words. I found myself angry with God. Why would he lead me to believe that I was going to leave in July and didn’t? He owns all the money in the world why wouldn’t he allow me to have some for the Race? WHY ME? Questions like those ran through my mind daily. I tried to internalize it and act like those feeling weren’t real until one day every problem, every stressor hit me all at one time. This drove me to a place where I had to be alone with God. There is where I told God exactly how I felt. I told Him how mad I was at Him and how I felt that He had let me down. I expressed to him every problem and emotion that I had. And when I was done crying and talking, God being the awesome Father that He is covered me with His peace. I knew then that all that was going on was apart of God’s plan, and that God was never trying to hurt me or leave me. I left that place knowing that God was not only with me, but He had been with me the whole time. So the question is no longer WHY ME, but WHY NOT ME! I know without a shadow of a doubt that God told me to go on the World Race, but He never said this journey would be easy. My trust in God is growing, my faith in God is growing, I am growing, and I give the credit to those things to every bump in the road, every detour that God has allowed me to endure. I am truly thankful for it all.
If you would like to be apart of this faith journey with me you can click the Support Me link to give online. It will be through your prayers, love, and financial support that will allow me to fulfill the call that God has given me.
